Relationship jokes
What does an orphan call a family picture?
"A selfie."
Some guy asked me, "Are you better than my meat?" I said, "No, I'm not better, I just beat it all the time."
Why are you guys making fun of priests?
Because you have a suga daddy already.
Me: Where's your mom?
Kid: [cries]
Me: [leaving from the adoption center]
You're gay.
Bro, I am straighter than the pole that your mom dances on for me every night.
You are like a thunderstorm; when you go away, like your dad, everyone is happy.
What do you call an orphan who takes a selfie?
A family portrait!
My mother told me to be positive, but she said that when I was going to do an AIDS test.
I lost my driver's license today. I hit my ex with my car.
What does "off-limits" have in common with dead people? They can’t see their family.
I asked a kid where their parents were...
Lol
What did the naked man say to the naked woman?
"Suck my dick."
One time, a man got mad at me because I was hitting on his girlfriend. Like come on, man, it was only a couple of bruises!
What did the emo guy say to the emo girl?
"Like ur cute g."
Who needs Singles Day when you're single for the rest of your life!
They say the polar ice caps are melting, good, because my wife's a fat, cold bitch.
I went on a date with an Eastern European chick. She got mad because I rushed her...
Get it? It's Russia, and I rushed her.
"Go frick a cow!"
"I already fricked your mother."
Don't break girls' hearts. Break their legs instead. They're two.
My dad was a master of art. He was compared to Houdini due to his skill of disappearing.