Are you a plane? Because I wanna be in control of you for a few hours.
Relationship Jokes
Who needs sex when they have Valorant?
Hey Gwen, listen, I know you're on this app, fake or not. I love you either way. Please find this faker and finish her off for what she's done, real Gwen.
*You're a real best Gwen*
Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.
Next day:
Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?
Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.
The dad sulked for 3 whole years.
Proof that words really can hurt.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family photo.
Hey, what do you call a beta simp?
You call me the beta simp.
Boy: "Why can't you get a family?"
Me: "Why can't you get a rope?"
Boy: "What do you mean?"
Friend and me: "We can show you."
Me: "I will tie the rope."
Friend: "I will push the chair."
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy, but Jack was in shock with a mouth full of cock, 'cause Jill's real name was Randy.
Yeah man, you watch Pornhub, and you have premium too, but at least I don't need Premium to see your mom in bed.
My Wife: How much do you love me??
Me: Count all the stars.
My Wife: Aww, infinity.
Me: No, a waste of time.
Me: I need a good roast.
My friend: Take me!
Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...
Women say their baby daddies are trash like... woman, didn't he impregnate you and didn't he win your heart? I mean, he's not trash, you are!
"Knock, knock.""Who's there?""Not your dad."Random kid: "My dad went to get milk. My mom said he will be back soon."
When an orphan takes a family photo, it’s called a selfie.
Roses are red, her name is Lily, she bends over, and said "HARDER, DADDY!"
"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.
That's what Elliot Rodger did.
Your mum. That's all I need to say.
Roses are red, violets are blue, When I take out the trash, I remember you.
Why can’t an emo have sex?
They can’t make it to the bed, they kept swinging on the tree.
