Relationship jokes
POV them: What's one move to get a man motivated in bed?
Her: All you gotta give is that hawk tuah and spit on that thang, you get me?
Son: Dad, I have black skin and you have white skin, are you sure you're my parents?
Dad: Oh... well I never thought it would come to this, or to your head that you were kidnapped...
Son: Am I kidnapped?
Dad: Well, you're adopted, and if you want to see your biological parents, they’ll be waiting for you in heaven.
Just 'cause I have a big penis doesn't mean I can't have sex.
Just because she can't crawl doesn't mean she can't eat my balls.
If her internal clock can tock, she can sit on my cock.
If her internal clock can tick, she can sit on my dick.
If her age is on the timer, I don't care if she's a minor.
What’s the difference between my ex and a unicycle?
A unicycle can only take one person at a time.
What’s the best part of having sex with a pregnant woman?
You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.
I went to the dump truck today, and my wife said, "Thanks for visiting."
What's the difference between your new girlfriend and a tornado? At first, there is a lot of blowing, and then your house will be gone.
I had sex with a disabled girl. You can say I handiclapped those cheeks.
What's the difference between me and my mate...
I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.
Why is hand holding a couple thing? Because they touch each other's genitals anyway.
Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going on a cruise. Who gets there first?
Obviously, the lesbian couple; they got their lickety-split. The gay couple was still packing their shit.
What do you do after fucking the loosest pussy ever?
Close the casket.
What did Mrs. Hotdog join after Mr. Hotdog joined LGBBQ+? The LGBBQ++ premium.
A new drug has been developed for lesbians with depression.
It’s called Trycoxagain.
You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long you wait to smash. For me and my girlfriend, it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling.