Relationship jokes
Why is hand holding a couple thing? Because they touch each other's genitals anyway.
Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going on a cruise. Who gets there first?
Obviously, the lesbian couple; they got their lickety-split. The gay couple was still packing their shit.
What do you do after fucking the loosest pussy ever?
Close the casket.
What did Mrs. Hotdog join after Mr. Hotdog joined LGBBQ+? The LGBBQ++ premium.
A new drug has been developed for lesbians with depression.
It’s called Trycoxagain.
You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long you wait to smash. For me and my girlfriend, it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling.
"The dad was so horny he wanted to have sex with his wife, but his wife said no, so he fucked his daughter."
Why are Black women dating white men?
So their kids don’t have to worry about not meeting their father.
It's not incest if you're adopted.
What did the man say in the morning after beating up his wife?
"I woke up Chris Breezy."
I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7's and 8's.
I just broke up with my mathematician girlfriend. She was obsessed with an X.
My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve."
My friend was showing me his tool shed and pointed to a ladder. "That's my stepladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."
How do you break up a fight between two gay men?
Say, "Can you get straight to the point?"
Q. What's the best part of living in Alabama?
A. Not having to change your last name when you get married.
What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?
"Where are the kids?"
What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?
I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!
What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?
"Will there be seconds?"