Relationship jokes
Want to have sex?
I fell in love with my teacher.
Which is weird because I am home schooled.
Little Johnny: Dad, why are you rubbing the horse's chest and butt?
Dad: I want to see if it's good enough to buy.
Little Johnny: I think Uncle Joe wants to buy Mom.
Why did your dad FUCKING LEAVE YOU? He went to suck balls.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She gagged.
I said to my girlfriend nothing can ever make you look ugly...
Because you already look ugly.
Hi, father, I failed the class, you mommy!
I like telling jokes about orphans. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
You ever had sex with a woman that is so fat, it counted as a threesome?
I fucked your mom, oh wait, you don't have one.
Bully: Hey virgin!
Victim: I'm not a virgin, just ask your sister.
Bully: I don't have a sister, dumbass.
Victim: Just wait nine months.
What does an orphan say after a kid makes a "yo mama" joke?
"I don’t have a mama."
Jack fucked Jill's pussy till it stopped functioning.
I bet my friend $5 that he would drown in the lake.
... It was a bittersweet victory.
Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”
Patient: “OK.”
Dentist: “I’m having an affair with your wife!”
When your brother sends you to go get a box of condoms for his b-day. (* *)
What's the difference between you and Frankenstein?
He is not ugly like you; plus, he has a wife.
Your mom is like a penny: two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants.
A customer came to me and asked for condoms for tiny dicks.
One day, Little Johnny walks in on his dad getting dressed and asked, "What is that, Daddy?" Dad said, "Oh, that's my snake." The next day, Little Johnny walks in on his mom getting dressed and asks, "What is that?" Mom says, "That's my bushes." The next day, Little Johnny can't sleep, so he goes into his parents' room and asks Dad, "Why is your snake going into Mom's bushes?"
Me: Can I get your mom's number?
Friend: Here you go:
Me: Ohh, strange, I already had it.