Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Unbelievable! When doctors touch my body, it’s alright, but if I do the same to some lady, apparently it’s "harassment!"
Girl: Wanna come over to my house?
Orphan: I have to ask if my parents come home.
Today was the worst day ever. My ex got ran over by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.
If your blind girlfriend says you have a big cock, she's probably just pulling your leg.
What did the cupcake tell its frosting?
I’d be muffin without you.
My wife said she would slam my head into my keyboard if I did not get off video games.
But don't worry I think she was just joking.