Relationship jokes
Guys, help! I need advice to confess to my crush. I'm being for real right now, guys, help!
Why do orphans hate Dom Toretto?
Because it's all about family!
You can say he is not your type until you realize your type is not typing.
I'm 24 and I was with a Chinese lady, and she kept screaming, "I'm too young!" Like, I don't know what that name is.
My girlfriend left me for spending my own money. I buy this bitch thousands upon thousands of dollars worth of stuff, but I spend 100 dollars on a prostitute, she leaves me.
Are you a professor? I have a theory about sex that I need to test on someone.
Are you a ghost train? Because I am going to scream when I ride you.
Are you winter? Because you will be coming soon.
What do you call gay parents?
Poly.
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.
What do orphans call a family picture?
A selfy.
Bestfriend @3am: I love you.
Me: Love you too.
*wait whatttttttttttttttttttt*
I don't know if this is funny.
I have MP3s on my computer that are older than Johnny Depp's new significant other.
Like if you know an orphan.
My wife made electric eel for supper. I was shocked!
Me: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
Me: Your parents.
Are you a gun because I want to live with you?
The orphan also had to cry because the cartels called him "homie."
The orphan's best friend wanted to meet his family, so he took a selfie.
A married woman asked her husband if he saw the future. The husband answered her, "I have no eye, dear."