Regret jokes

I got a PS5 for my nine-year-old sister. At the time, I thought it was the best trade I’d ever made. But now I’m regretting not being able to molest her anymore.

Walk up to the quiet kid and tell him to hang in there. Trust me, you won’t regret it.

Bro, they almost forgot you in the abortion bucket.

"Why didn't the boy pick up his ice cream?" - Margaret

"Why?" - Depressed boy

"Because he got ran over." - Margaret

"I wish that was me." - Depressed boy

Little Johnny meets Big Suzy.

Little Johnny and Big Suzy got together.

Little Johnny still regrets getting together with her to this very day.

The end.

POV: Wine Taster in hell.

I was sitting with the best wine ever made on the table in front of me. This silhouette begins to speak, "You have risen to be the most superb Wine Taster on Earth. Then you got run over by a truck hauling freshly made wine to a warehouse. Your crimes are as follows: you left your high school prom date with another man after you got her pregnant, you let your mother believe that the cat ran away after you drowned it in the pool, and you never got married. How do you plead?"

The man looked at the silhouette like it was a purple rabbit.

"Guilty," said the man, "but if you would be so kind would you at least tell me what the wine in front of me tastes and smells like? I will take any punishment you deem fit."

"Very well," said the silhouette, "but you will regret that request."

Out of the shadows comes a boy only looking 19 years old. The boy says, "I will you taster today. I am confident about my sense of taste." The boy takes the first bottle and opens it, pours it into a wine glass, and swirls it around. He then takes a sniff and begins to drink, to the Wine Taster he says, "Mmmm, taste like chicken."

I see a poor guy. Mini me be like- mama, can I give my spare money to him? 🤗 And my mum says yes, so I give my money and home feeling SO NICE, while MY MOM knows he's going to spend it on DRUGS. We go back tomorrow and then after we go to the same place and then I see him with drugs.

Me- what I think fck what I do 😭.

Guys, don’t put the Holocaust books in the fiction section, it was the worst mistake of my life!

Once an orphan got a girlfriend. He regretted it. She left him too.

I got a sister.

That was a big mistake.

Luisa: The ship doesn't swerve, as it heard how big the iceberg is.

Captain of the Titanic: Wait, what did you say?

3 minutes later:

Why didn't I listen to the strong one?

I asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school, and she said, "Oh, go look in the bathroom above the sink..." There was a mirror.

As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way.

Maybe my budding career as a tour guide was not the right choice.

I wish I knew life, but my dad said it was a mistake to begin with.

My birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair and guess who came crawling back!

My mom said, "Don't jump off, we need you."

I said, "No," then I jumped off a building and died.

The parents who left their kids on the side of the road should have thought twice and got an abortion.

You're so ugly your mom said, "I want an abortion."

A kid asks his dad why his name is Experience. The dad says, "That's what we give our mistakes."