Regret jokes

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

I regret my abortion.

I didn’t know child labor was an option.

Roses are red, violets are blue.

My heart is dead.

I’m such a fool.

Why did I fall for you?

You know, you should adopt a pet. So then you can feel the pain that your parents felt when they adopted you... wait... also the regret after.

The worst comedians take 9 months to make a joke. Then they spend the rest of their lives trying to forget it.

A woman is slightly drunk, watching a video, when she yells at the screen, "Don't go into that church you dumb bitch!"

Her husband asks, "What are you watching?"

"Our wedding video."

As I grow older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe tour guide wasn't the right career choice for me...

Why did Paul Walker regret turning in his test?

Because his grade went from 99 to 0 in less than a second.

The way you are so ugly your parents even regret the day you were born.

The way you are so black when your mom is bathing you in the dark, she has to put flour in the water to see you.

🤣🤣🤣

Marry or don't marry, you will regret both!

What was OceanGate's biggest regret?

Not painting Dylan Mulvaney on the side of the Titan submarine for when it sunk like Bud Light's profits.

What's the difference between a toaster and a ten-year-old Chinese girl? A Japanese soldier would regret sticking his d*ck into a toaster.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Leaf. “Leaf” who? Leaf my house, or else you will regret it. You don’t live here, you dumb idiot! ?!

I wish we were all aborted. <3

One day my friend said: "I want tacos from Katie's, you?" and I said no thanks and she left. I never saw her again. Today I remember that I saw her name on TV as one of the victims of suicide, then I remember her and my motto: "If I'm dying, you're dying with me, you got no choice." I NEVER ate tacos from Katie's again.

I got a PS5 for my nine-year-old sister. At the time, I thought it was the best trade I’d ever made. But now I’m regretting not being able to molest her anymore.

Walk up to the quiet kid and tell him to hang in there. Trust me, you won’t regret it.

Bro, they almost forgot you in the abortion bucket.

"Why didn't the boy pick up his ice cream?" - Margaret

"Why?" - Depressed boy

"Because he got ran over." - Margaret

"I wish that was me." - Depressed boy

Little Johnny meets Big Suzy.

Little Johnny and Big Suzy got together.

Little Johnny still regrets getting together with her to this very day.

The end.