Reality jokes
Guy: Do you know how to draw woman's rights?
Girl: No, how?
Guy: All you need is a blank paper and reality.
Somebody: Do you even eat and get sleep?
Me: I have depression, what do you think?!
Girlfriend: "Would you still love me if I was a figment of your imagination?"
My schizophrenic ass: Of course I would.
You know when people say a joke about living?
That's because we are all living a joke.
All those people claiming Donald Trump is like Hitler need a reality check.
After all, it's not like Donald Trump could write a book.
In the cute fantasies: "Est-ce que tu manges du poulet? Attendez une seconde, VOTRE PROFESSEUR VEGAN!!!!!"
In reality: "Are you eating chicken? Wait a second, YOUR THE VEGAN TEACHER!!!"
Life is never hard until you get hit hard with reality.
No one gives a fuck.
Being raped is like a dance; sometimes it hurts, sometimes it hurts more.
What does Fortnite and real life have in common?
They both lost their tower.
I love when I could run through the grass and feel the wind on my face.
Then my mom told me to get off VR, and then I wheeled myself to her.
Did you hear about the cello player who dreamed he was performing Bolero?
He woke up and found out it was true.
This is why orphans are dangerous with cardboard. They either start eating it or making it into a house and hallucinating that they have a family.
So I threw out the cardboard and said, "You have to stay in reality. Fantasies aren't real. You can't and will never get a home."
Next day, they make cardboard parents, so I threw that away and said, "Pay attention to reality; you will never get parents."
Next day, they start acting like parents and tell me what to do. Again, I said, "Snap to reality. You will never be a parent!" The orphan responded with, "Oh, really?! How so?" I just simply said, "You don't have a house and parents. You literally like eating cardboard, and then you make parents out of it. You like to eat old people!"
What type of tea is hard to swallow?
Reality.
When you die, people cry and wish you to come back.
But when you do, people scream and run away.
None of these are jokes... they're all facts!
Why is the orphan cold?
'Cause there's no one to cuddle with.
What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
Reali-tea.
Someone walks up to his dad and says, "Dad, what’s the difference between potentiality and reality?" Soo ok, the dad says to the son, "Go ask your mother, sister, and your brother if they’d sleep with the postman for $1,000,000." So the son comes back 5 minutes later and said, "Dad, they all said they would sleep with the postman." So, son, potentially, we have a million dollars, but in reality, we have two sluts and a gay one."
What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
Reality.