"Did you hear about the flasher who exposed himself to two elderly ladies in Central Park? One had a stroke. The other couldn’t quite reach."
There's nothing quite like being told I'm wrong by someone who depends on me for food, clothing, and shelter.
What do Princess Diana and the Beatles have in common?
They both made quite an impact in Europe.
Quite Kid: *reaches into bag* Teacher: EVERYBODY RUN
Using modern day technology you can produce music with a Tesla coil. I dont know if you heard it but it is quite shocking and even electrifying. I cant tell if it is metal or techno but it is more vaulable then joules. It really amps up your blood pressure and has you saying watt the whole time. It is way better than current music.
Did you hear about the terrorist comedian? He was actually quite funny... He just blew the delivery.
(I'll show myself out)
My girlfriend is incredibly sad since her cat has disappeared. I am quite sure now that I misunderstood something when she asked me to eat her p-ssy - and I am beginning to think that I did not get the "f-ck her doggy" part either
One day, Little Susie got her monthly bleeding for the first time in her life.
Not quite certain what was happening, and somewhat frightened, she decided to tell Little Johnny. Little Susie dropped her panties and showed Little Johnny what was happening.
Little Johnny's eyes opened wide in amazement. "You know," he said, "I'm not a doctor, but it looks like someone just ripped your balls off!"
My wife asked me to please quit singing Wonderwall in the shower
I said maybe.
Why did dad man quit acting?
I don’t know either.
I’m rather relaxed about death. From quite an early age, I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.
I once met a skeleton, I asked if I could tell him a joke, he agreed, I told him it, he found it quite “humerus”.
Your hairline so far back that when your teacher puts you to sit down in the front of the class, your hairline does be quite in the back.
what do you say to an upset german
quit being such a sauerkraut
Your mother is so fat she actually went on a diet and started exercising and I hear she's doing quite well now.
Yo mama so fat that when she saw Thanos and he tried to snap her out of existence it didn't work and he said man I quit.
I like whiteboards There quite re-markable
stop ruining the jokes its called worst jokes ever for a reason we all feel bad for orphans but people like dark humor and joke about everyone so quit being offended plz
I molested a child today and it felt quite lovely on my Penis 👍