Quit jokes

When recycling toilet paper, you really need to process the crap out of it.

Conversely, you can recycle a condom quite easily: just turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it.

I’m rather relaxed about death.

From quite an early age, I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.

Yo mama so fat that when she saw Thanos and he tried to snap her out of existence, it didn't work, and he said, "Man, I quit!"

Why did Dad Man quit acting?

I don’t know either.

You are quite [something].

Your mom has quite the mouth on her.

As I found out last night. Oh, what a night!! 😏 😉 😜

Did you know curing boredom is quite simple?

For instance, you could pretend to be an apple by tying a rope around your neck for a stem.

My wife asked me to please quit singing "Wonderwall" in the shower.

I said, "Maybe."

I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames.

Are you a sports car? Because you give my heart quite a rush!

The quiet kid, orphan, and school shooter walked into a bar, and he ordered a beer.

I like whiteboards.

They're quite re-markable.

As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."

One day, Little Susie got her monthly bleeding for the first time in her life.

Not quite certain what was happening, and somewhat frightened, she decided to tell Little Johnny. Little Susie dropped her panties and showed Little Johnny what was happening.

Little Johnny's eyes opened wide in amazement. "You know," he said, "I'm not a doctor, but it looks like someone just ripped your balls off!"

How did Caillou quit his party?

He had to cancel it.

There's nothing quite like being told I'm wrong by someone who depends on me for food, clothing, and shelter.

Did y’all hear about the increasing divorce rate because people are addicted to Fortnite?

They’re just two weeks to quit.

I wanna tell you guys a joke about a broken pencil...

But it’s quite pointless.

What do Princess Diana and the Beatles have in common?

They both made quite an impact in Europe.

Quiet kid reaches down and class starts running.

Quiet kid: What's wrong? Pulling out my...