Puns
What do you call a duck on drugs?
A quackhead.
What did the panther say at the poker party?
I'd be lion if I said I was a cheetah.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it had its ion someone else.
I can't believe I got fired at the calendar factory. I mean... all I did was take a day off!
Wanna know how I got away from Iraq? Iran.
A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other, and a desk strapped to his back.
A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying, "I'm arresting you for impersonating an office, sir!"
I hit myself on a window yesterday. I really felt the pane.
My brother couldn’t wait for fall, so I tripped him.
What’s the difference between a snowman and a snow woman?
Snow balls.
What did the cow say to the sheep?
“Moo!”
What did the sheep say to the cow?
“That was a bad joke!”
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 9.
Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked: "Hey, how do you drive this thing?"
I know it sounds cheesy, but I feel grate!
At first, I didn't like Big Ben, but then I went there and the experience was un-BELL-ievable!
You are all going to be pun-ished!
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?"
I heard a joke about heavy metal earlier. It was pretty ironic.
Having sex while camping is fucking in tents (intense).
Bruh, don't be punny.
What do you call a white bucket?
A pail.