Puns
Why did the boy study for his math test in a tree?
'Cause he wanted higher grades.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered 6 offender.
What food makes you smart? Salt, because it's a mined food.
My pathological cheater of a sister wanted to play a board game with me.
I turned her down because I didn't like the Risk involved.
I was about to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
Knock knock. Who's there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Never mind, it was pointless!
I knew a guy who used to sell wrenches. He was all torque.
Does your shoe have a hole in it?
No.
Then how did you put your foot in it?
What's a car's favorite place to hang out?
A CARnival!
What instrument do a pair of sheep play? The two-baaaa.
I was going to tell you a joke about a pencil, but now it is pointless.
My parents said to me, "Whenever you say sorry to someone and they say, 'It's okay,' it's really not."
So I said, "Okay."
Why did the MOSFET go to jail?
It had a charge for battery.
What's better than roses on a piano?
Tulips on an organ.
What do cats eat for breakfast?
"Mice Krispies!"
What did the panther say at the poker party?
I'd be lion if I said I was a cheetah.
Two people just met. One said, “We should do some bonding.” The other nodded and said back, “Titanic.” The first just looked confused so the second one just said, “Sorry, thought that would be a good icebreaker.”
Why do nuns walk in groups?
So one “nun” can keep an eye on the other “nun” just to make sure that she isn’t getting "nun".
What separates bad jokes from dad jokes?
Condoms.
I make science puns, but only periodically.