Paint

A boat carrying red paint and a boat carrying blue paint crashed into each other. The crews were marooned.

Living

A person asks a taxidermist what they do for a living. The taxidermist replies, "Oh, you know, stuff."

Chip

(True story) Today I was bringing some tortilla chips upstairs for some chips and dip, and I dropped them, so my mom goes “Oh, now they’re broken.”

And I took an opportunity to make a pun, so I said, “No, they’re just chipped.”

Knock

Knock knock.

"Who's there?"

Boo.

"Boo who?"

It's just a joke, no need to cry!

Wife

My wife told me I could never, ever build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!

Roster

Why did the roster cross the road twice?

To prove it was not a chicken.

Baguette

A boy asks a zookeeper, "Why is there a baguette in a cage?"

The zookeeper says, "It's bread in captivity!"

Teacher

What happened when the teacher tied all the students' shoe laces together?

They took a class trip.

Footwear

What did the shoe say to the other shoe?

Nothing, it was tied up in another conversation.

Man

What do you call an Irish man that breaks up fights?

Liam Malone.

Panther

What did the panther say at the poker party?

I'd be lion if I said I was a cheetah.

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