What do you call a girl with only one leg? Eileen.
What about an Asian girl with only one leg? Irene.
What do you call an Afghan in the bath? A bath bomb.
Why did people bully the burning circuit?
It was too short.
Why did the MOSFET go to jail?
It had a charge for battery.
How did the security guard at the orchid get better at his job? He got an Apple Watch.
My brother wanted to sharpen my pencil. I told him he had a point.
"Racccccccccccccccccccccoccoooocoooocoooooooooooocoooooo this is my song."
I think I gave you the coronavirus because I can't stop staring, a-choo!
My pathological cheater of a sister wanted to play a board game with me.
I turned her down because I didn't like the Risk involved.
I got a job as a pencil sharpener. I would tell you about it, but you wouldn't get the point.
Do you think Mars prefers Sour Orbiters sweet?
Orbiter: "Or bitter?"
Wanna hear a pun?
Welp, I'll punch you with one!
Want to hear a pun?
Well, I'll punch you with one!
Why don't you act like an amoeba and split?
I had some puns about construction, but I'm still working on them.
Have you heard the joke about the paper?
Never mind, it's tear-able.
I can't sleep, that's because you're dead.
I was in social studies class and I was taking an exam and I couldn’t remember a lot of the information and everyone looked up shocked. A white kid holding a gun said, “You’re about to become history.” I almost forgot that we weren’t supposed to have any lessons that day.
Two flies were playing football in a saucer. One tells the other, “You’ll need more practice if you want to play in the cup!”
Roses are red. He shows no remorse.
Santa Claus Has joined the terrorist force.
