How did the security guard at the orchid get better at his job? He got an Apple Watch.
My brother wanted to sharpen my pencil. I told him he had a point.
Racccccccccccccccccccccoccoooocoooocoooooooooooocoooooo this is my song joke
I think I gave you the corona virus because I can't stop staring a-choo
My pathological cheater of a sister wanted to play a board game with me. I turned her down because I didn't like the Risk involved.
I got a job as a pencil sharpener. I would tell you about it, but you wouldn't get the point.
Do you think Mars prefers Sour Orbiter sweet?
Orbiter: Or bitter
Wanna hear a pun?
Welp, I'll PUNch you with one!
Want to hear a pun?
Well, I'll PUNch you with one!
Why don't you act like an amoeba and split.
i had some puns about construction but im still workin on em
Have you heard the joke about the paper? Never mind it’s tear-able
I can’t sleep that’s because your dead
I was in social studies class and I was taking an exam and I couldn’t Remember a lot of the information and everyone looked up shocked. A white kid holding a gun said “your about to become history”. I almost forgot that we weren’t supposed to have any lessons that day.
Two flies were playing football in a saucer. One tells the other, “ you’ll need more practice if you want to play in the cup”
Roses are red. He shows no remorse.
Santa Claus Has joined the terrorist force.
When a cat gets a sibling do they say Oh shit another mew kid?!?!?!?!
Why is a waiter good at math?..... Because it he knows his TABLES .🤣🤣
A boy asks a zookeeper, "Why is there a baguette in a cage?"
The zookeeper says, "It's bread in captivity!"
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve? Christopher Walken.
Those t.p. jokes are getting shittier by the second.
