Why is a waiter good at math?
Because he knows his TABLES! 🤣
A boy asks a zookeeper, "Why is there a baguette in a cage?"
The zookeeper says, "It's bread in captivity!"
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve? Christopher Walken.
Those t.p. jokes are getting shittier by the second.
Earlier that day...
Mars: Okay Venus, you need to stop with the puns.
Mission on space.
Mars: Moon? You okay?
Moon:...
Mars: Moon come on! Stop spacing out!
*Venus and Moon giving her the smirk*
I went shopping, and then to the hospital, and then to bed, and then I promised to only say "and" once in a sentence.
I didn’t know what a class clown was till I went to a class and realized I was a class clown in kindergarten, and then I woke up from a nightmare.
A homey thing is a house, and a sticky thing is a stick.
If people who live in Canada are Canadians, I mean if they drink Fanta, they’re fantastic.
My fish puns aren't on porpoise.
My cat is red and brown and her bones are crunchy, so does that mean she is a Kit Kat?
All real chemists know that alcohol is always a solution.
I did this chemistry joke yesterday, but I didn't get a reaction.
What card is the slowest and slimiest?
Ace-nail.
A dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
I tried to play with rock, but it was hard.
Why isn't the athlete in the full bus? Because she is trying to fit in.
Why do athletes cool down fast? Because they have fans.
Wash your hands.
I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home, there were signs everywhere.
Jokes are rathr funny
What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you?
“C'mon, did ya really think I’d resist arrest?”
What road goes all the way to the sky? A highway.
