Puns

Wanna hear a pun?

Welp, I'll punch you with one!

Want to hear a pun?

Well, I'll punch you with one!

Why don't you act like an amoeba and split?

I had some puns about construction, but I'm still working on them.

Have you heard the joke about the paper?

Never mind, it's tear-able.

I can't sleep, that's because you're dead.

I was in social studies class and I was taking an exam and I couldn’t remember a lot of the information and everyone looked up shocked. A white kid holding a gun said, “You’re about to become history.” I almost forgot that we weren’t supposed to have any lessons that day.

Two flies were playing football in a saucer. One tells the other, “You’ll need more practice if you want to play in the cup!”

Roses are red. He shows no remorse.

Santa Claus Has joined the terrorist force.

When a cat gets a sibling, do they say, "Oh, shit! Another mew kid?!?!?!"

Why is a waiter good at math?

Because he knows his TABLES! 🤣

A boy asks a zookeeper, "Why is there a baguette in a cage?"

The zookeeper says, "It's bread in captivity!"

What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?

Christopher Walken.

Those t.p. jokes are getting shittier by the second.

Earlier that day...

Mars: Okay Venus, you need to stop with the puns.

Mission on space.

Mars: Moon? You okay?

Moon:...

Mars: Moon come on! Stop spacing out!

*Venus and Moon giving her the smirk*

I went shopping, and then to the hospital, and then to bed, and then I promised to only say "and" once in a sentence.

I didn’t know what a class clown was till I went to a class and realized I was a class clown in kindergarten, and then I woke up from a nightmare.

A homey thing is a house, and a sticky thing is a stick.

If people who live in Canada are Canadians, I mean if they drink Fanta, they’re fantastic.

My fish puns aren't on porpoise.

My cat is red and brown and her bones are crunchy, so does that mean she is a Kit Kat?