What's the difference between the Grand Canyon and a blonde?

The Grand Canyon is a busy ditch.

What did the shoe say to the other shoe?

Nothing, it was tied up in another conversation.

My friend's daughter is taking a job in California parking cars. She says she wants to be a valet girl. For sure. For sure.

Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

A guy walks up to me in the street and asks if you have to include the name of an animal in every sentence. I said only if it's relephant.

He says what about vegetables. I said not nesecelery.