Punishment jokes
when Ted Bundy found out he was getting the death penalty, he was pretty shocked...
Three nuns had to go before Mother Superior. The first one goes up to her and she says, "Have you sinned?" "Yes, I have, Mother. I have stolen a bicycle." Okay, said Mother Superior. "Say 100 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water." Up comes nun number two and she says she has sinned. "She slept with a married man." So Mother Superior says, "Okay, say 500 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water and go on your way." The third nun comes up and she says, "I peed in the holy water!" 🤣😂🤣😂😁😁🌈
"Suicide is a murder, and my body should go to jail."
Technically, suicide is murder, and murder is illegal, so if I kill myself, my body should go to jail.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They put doorknobs on a wall and said, "Open the door."
Why did the teacher get the death penalty? Because she gave an orphan homework. That's on period. #darkhumor
Why did the fastest cat get kicked out of school?
He was a cheetah.
Whoever invented school, I hope you burn in hell.
How do you punish a blind kid?
Move to a new house.
What happened to the frog that parked illegally?
He was toad away.
Get it?
How did Helen Keller get punished?
Her parents gave her a bomb and told her to eat it.
Me: "Comment if you love yourself and give me a reason."
Friends: comments give reason.
Me: "Notice how I commented nothing."
Day later:
Mom: Let me see your TikTok.
Me: Shows her the video.
Mom: calls suicide.
JK, she just beat me for posting a video on her.
Please help, my dad is an addict. He won't stop, and he eats my food.
Sometimes I think, should I kill him? But nah, he will go down with the others who did that too.
What's a prisoner's favorite game?
Hangman!
What do you call an act of “funny” discipline? A PUN-ishment!
So, Little Johnny comes home from school knowing damn well he messed up his math test. His mother and father get home and he tells them, "Mom, I failed my math test." His mother aggressively says, "Get the belt!" Johnny says, "Why?" His mother says, "I'm gonna spank you for failing!" Johnny says, "So just like daddy?" His father turns red knowing what they did last night.
In Israel, they chop convicted rapists' balls off. Sure glad I don't live in Israel.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They put her in a circle room and told her to find the penny in the corner.
How do you punish a blind kid?
Rearrange the furniture.
So, I walked into the kitchen and saw my mom had made cookies. I stole one, not noticing my mom was behind me.
So my mom said, "Put the cookie back, kid!" and I said I wasn't gonna eat it. Then she said, "Never mind, I'll get your father." So my mom said, "Honey, deal with your son; I'm going to the mall!" And my dad said, "Son, if you're not allowed to have a cookie before dinner!"
So he went into his room, and I heard the belt, and I was going to run, but I knew it would be worse. So he said, "This will be your punishment." As he was getting ready to hit me, I said, "Daddy, no, please, I wasn't gonna eat it!" But he said, "No, you won't change my mind, little boy!" Then he hit me. Thank you for reading! Stay healthy and stay safe in this time. Bye!!! Read more of my jokes; they'll probably be around the website!!