What has an N, an I, two Gs, an E, and an R?
Ginger!
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 is a registered 6 offender.
What did the math book say to the other math book?
Wanna hear my problems?
What's the best thing about abuse jokes? The punchline.
Knock knock. Who's there? Parents. Parents who? That's what an orphan would say.
Me: Wanna hear a joke about my chin?
Friend: Nah, dude. It'll be too long.
What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke? Timing.
And so the Lord said unto John, "Come forth, and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.
Jon said: What do you call a pregnant woman?
Mike said: I don’t know, what?
Jon said: Kinder surprise.
I was about to say an African joke, but it was too dry.
Q: What’s the difference between me and you?
A: I’m not wasting my time reading this joke.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?
Gloves........ just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.
Three blonde sisters die and are told by an angel that in order for them to go to heaven they have to pass all 100 steps. But each step has a joke, each joke gets funnier and funnier. And in order to pass them all, you can't laugh at any joke or else you go to hell. The blonde girls accept the offer.
So the angel begins telling them the jokes. One of the girls laughs at the 3rd step. The second blonde laughs halfway there. Finally, the last blonde was at the 100th step. The angel said, "This is the last step. If you laugh you will go straight to hell with your sisters and if you don't you can pass." The blonde agrees and the angel starts to tell the joke, "What do you ca..." Out of nowhere the blonde starts bursting out laughing. "Why are you laughing? I haven't even finished the joke yet!" The blonde replies, "I just got the first joke!"
Hey, I know this is a classic joke but I found it pretty funny!
"My name is 4, four like the number," my friend said. "What, was 1 2 3 taken?"
I can even with it but I was bored and decided to share this.