Wanna hear a joke about corn?
Never mind, it's too corny.
Where do mathematicians go to die?
The symmetry.
Why did Sarah fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sarah.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with three legs? Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Read the title.
Any joke can be funny with the right delivery. Except abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack.
A man was having a dream. He dreamt about a mystical creature that was commonly known as the god of toast.
When the man woke up, he turned to tell his wife about the dream. When he delivers the "toast god" punchline, his wife shrugged as she faced the opposite direction to the man.
The man turned around also and started sobbing as he realised his marriage is in shambles.