What do you call a cow with no legs, ground beef, what do you call a cow with three legs, lean beef, what do you call a cow with two legs................ read the title.
Why did the Canadian cross the road?
To say sorry to the other side.
When other people tell a joke, 3/3 people laugh.
When I tell a joke, 1/3 people laugh, but 2/3 people stare into my soul.
Any joke can be funny with the right delivery. Except abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.
Student: Hey! Did you hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Teacher: No?
Student: All I can say about it is, "Well, well, well."
"Can I tell you a paper joke?" I said, "But it is pretty terrible."
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter he's not coming.
Why did Stephanie fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Not Stephanie!
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
What do a coin and an Irish man have in common?
They're both fun to flip off.
Why did Sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally!
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
A man was having a dream. He dreamt about a mystical creature that was commonly known as the god of toast.
When the man woke up, he turned to tell his wife about the dream. When he delivers the "toast god" punchline, his wife shrugged as she faced the opposite direction to the man.
The man turned around also and started sobbing as he realised his marriage is in shambles.
Knock knock. Who's there? Bad joke.
There once was a little girl named Sarah with no arms and legs.
*knock knock*
Who's there!
Not Sarah.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
So, you wanna hear a joke about the wall?
... Actually, nah, you won't get over it.
Wanna here a joke??
My life
Why are there so many jokes about Chuck Norris, but not about Bruce Lee?
Bruce Lee was no joking matter.
