Why is a sweet potato casserole so sweet? Because it's so sweet to eat!
I got a joke.
Allahu Akbar!
A man walks into a bar. He takes a seat and asks the barman if he wanted to hear a blonde joke. The barman replies, "Before you tell this joke, I want to tell you something. See the woman over there? She is a black belt in karate, she's blonde. See the bouncer over there? He is also a blonde. See the chick over there with that pool cue? She is also blonde. Also, I have a shotgun behind the bar. I'm blonde. So do you still want to tell your joke?" He replies, "F**k that. I ain't explaining the joke 4 times."
There was a Cheerio that had a job. He worked hard at it, and the boss came up and promoted him to the vice president of the Cheerios. So he needed a speech. He kept practicing and practicing and now he was thirsty. It was almost time for his speech, so he went to the drinking fountain, but there was a huge line. So he went to the lake, but he saw tons of garbage and what he thought was a cereal killer. So he found this bowl of punch, but he realized... there was no punchline.
What’s the difference between a tuna and a tube of glue? You can tuna piano but you can piano a tuna. What happened to the glue? I knew you would get stuck on that
I'm trying to come up with a set-up for an amputee joke, but I'm stumped.
There was this kid who was going to take a girl to the dance. He had fancy clothes, fancy shoes, etc. Finally, the day of the dance came. He happily drove over to the girl's house. When he got there, he said to her father, "thank you for this moment, have a great night".
At the dance, the girl asks the boy, "can I have some food?" He gladly replies "yes" and walks over to the food trucks, only to see a huge line. So he waits in line for like 30 minutes. He comes back to the girl, and she says, "thank you so much, I really needed something to eat". Then she asks for some sweets and a soda. Again the boy waits in line for about 30-45 minutes. Then he comes back, and she says, "thank you SOOOO much". Then she says she has one more request. The boy, (now clearly agitated) says, "what is it?" She says, can I have some punch? SO the boy walks over to the punch table, but to his surprise, there was no punch line.
What's the same about dark humor and kids with cancer?
They never get old
What do you get when you cross a stick and a dog? A run away joke...
What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you've told her twice.
Hey, wanna hear an abortion joke? Never mind, I can't deliver it.
Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? When you slap the mosquito it stops sucking
What's the best thing about abuse jokes? The punchline.
You want to hear a 9/11 joke?
I bet they did too!
Why couldn’t little Susie stay on the swing? She had no arms
Knock knock Who’s there? Not Susie.
Somebody told me a chemistry joke. I thought it was sodium funny, I slapped my neon that one.
Why are the same Sally jokes told over and over again?
Because how can you tell jokes about someone who's dead?
Q: What's the difference between an egg and me?
A: An egg gets laid.
These aren't funny.
I would tell you a joke about a clock, but it’s a waste of time! 😄😄
