Prostitution jokes
On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.
Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:
"Do you know what arthritis is?"
The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:
"It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges, and other things I dare not say."
The drunk widened his eyes, shut up, and continued reading the newspaper.
A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften:
"How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."
How is having fun with a prostitute like bungee jumping?
You’re dead if the rubber breaks.
This lady has 2 parrots that only say one thing: "Hi, we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun?"
So she goes and tells her pastor. He responds with, "I have two parrots as well, they are always praying, and they have everything that a parrot needs to be a Christian. Maybe if we put our parrots together, mine will fix yours."
They proceed to do so, and the lady's parrots say, "Hi, we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun?" and the pastor's parrots reply with "Johnny, drop your beads and lift your heads, our prayers have been answered!"
What is the difference between a terrorist and a prostitute?
The prostitute can blow you more than once.
What’s the worst part about a dead prostitute?
You end up doing all the work.
If having sex for money makes you a wh*re, then what does having sex for free make you?
Non-profit wh*reganisation.
What does an Arab prostitute say?
"Bomb my pussy!"
What do you call 2 nuns and a prostitute that play football?
Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
Being a hooker shouldn't be illegal.
It's like having an Airbnb for your dick.
Q: What do you call a black prostitute in space?
A: The Blackhole.
Everyone tells me I need to stop making prostitute jokes.
I guess they're whore-ible.
What do you call a male prostitute in a bar...
Handy Andy.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a homeless shelter?
You can shit a load inside of a prostitute, but if you try it in a shelter, you get arrested.
My friend jokingly confessed to me she did prostitution (consensual).
She wasn't joking. :0
We are 15....
What do you call a prostitute weed dealer?
A pot-hole.
After seeing you sing, the dog got disinfected from rabies.
You call me a prostitute's son, I call you test-tube babies.
What did the hooker say when she found out the cash she was paid with for services rendered was counterfeit?
I've been raped!
I went to find someone to fuck in the streets for money, and I found a prostitute, but then she raped me. After she said it was amazing and instead let me push.
My girlfriend left me for spending my own money. I buy this bitch thousands upon thousands of dollars worth of stuff, but I spend 100 dollars on a prostitute, she leaves me.
Why did the prostitute lose all her money?
Because she got f*cked.