Prostitution jokes
Why does the pimp always use job fairs as a way of recruiting new hoes?
He always gets a great turnout.
Why does the environmentalist pimp have his hoes fuck bareback?
He wants to keep condoms out of landfills.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a trash bag?
There's a limit to how much trash goes in the trash bag.
Three women were in heaven. The angel at the gates said, "How good the ride into heaven is for you, is determined by your commitment to your most recent partner."
The first lady says, "2 years, 2 side-hoes." She got an old lexus.
The second lady says, "10 years, 1 visit from a prostitute." She got a Mercedes-Benz.
The third lady says, "I never had a husband."
The angel says in response, "F*ck me and then you can have a lambo."
They all arrive in heaven, to see the second lady crying.
The first lady says, "I know we are dead, but it could be a lot worse."
"How!?" The third lady cries, "The angel has a flute for a d*ck!"
A guy is bankrupt, so he gives his son a duck and tells him to go sell it for as much as he can. So the kid goes on the street to sell the duck. A prostitute walks by and says, "I'll f--ck you for $10." The boy says, "I would, but I don't have any money." She says, "Ok, I'll take the duck instead." He says, "Ok," so they go upstairs and f--ck. The prostitute says, "That's the best sex I've ever had. I'll give you the duck back, and we can do it again." So they do, and he gets the duck back. But when they go downstairs, the duck gets hit by a car. And the guy that hit the duck feels so bad that he gives the kid $25. So when he gets home, his father asks him why he looks so tired. The boy says, "Well, I got a f--ck for a duck, a duck for a f--ck, and $25 for a f--cked up f--ck."
You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes.
One day whilst walking up a hill, Jack saw a prostitute named Jill. Jill was dressed in kinky, leather gear that made Jack really, really horny.
Jack, who hadn't stuck it in for a few weeks, was keen to ask this sexy young maiden how much she would charge. "1 buck for a suck, 2 buck for a fuck," she said as she stroked his ever-hardening one-eyed snake.
"Yeah, I'll have both of them," said Jack, who was about to cum in his trousers. So Jill led Jack to behind the well, and they sucked and fucked for an hour. After that, they both contracted AIDS and died of it, as they did not see a doctor. THE END
The Virgin Mary wasn't a virgin; she was a prostitute. God raped her.
What’s the difference between a bullet and a prostitute? They both burst a barrel.
What do you call a school shooting survivor who grows up to be a prostitute on the West Coast?
A Sandy Hooker
Hookers are like drive-thrus; you tell them what you want, pay for your stuff, and leave.
What do you call a three humped camel?
A prostitute from New York.
What's a perfect example of poor management? A prostitute getting pregnant.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and cancer?
A prostitute can beat my dick any day, but a prostitute can’t beat cancer.
How can you compare a gay prostitute to Pacman?
They both get paid to eat 200 balls!
How many hookers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, cause they'll screw anything.
What's the difference between your job and a dead hooker?
Your job still sucks.
Did you hear about the blind prostitute?
Well, you gotta hand it to her.
What is the difference between a washing machine and a hooker?
I can put a load in the washing machine without it following me.
Why do prostitutes love servicing zombies? They always leave a tip.