Prostitution jokes
If you give a prostitute money, you will go to jail, but if you give a prostitute a Klondike bar, you will not go to jail. I would rather go to the casino and get more money for my buck.
In what ways do nuns and hoes have something in common?
They both worship on their knees. They are both creatures of habit. They both take vows of poverty and obedience. Once chosen, neither can leave the life. They both swallow their hosts.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer?
The prostitute can wash her “crack” and sell it again.
Why do orphan girls become prostitutes?
So they can call someone "daddy."
What's the difference between a nun and a prostitute taking a bath?
The nun has a soul full of hope...
What do painters and prostitutes have in common?
They're both paid for a good finish.
Why did the orphan become a prostitute? They wanted someone to call "daddy."
What did the cow say to the prostitute?
Moo.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a daredevil? One has cunning stunts, whilst the other has a stunning...
What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hoe? A hoe can wash her crack and sell it again.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer?
The prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.
What do you call a Russian prostitute? Slobadown Mycockyoubitch.
A man is meeting a client in Japan, but arrives a day early. When night hit, he went out with a prostitute. They're having sex, but the prostitute kept shouting "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!", so the man thinks he's doing a good job. The next day, the man meets his client and they go golfing, and the client gets a hole in one. The man praises him by going "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!". His client turns around confused and says, "What do you mean wrong hole!?"
What's the difference between my dad and a hooker? Hookers come back.
What present can a pimp always buy his hoes to both show how much he thinks of them and know they can never get enough of?
Condoms!
What is similar about the feelings of a girl's birth daddy and her new pimp daddy?
They both worry about how she will turn out!
Why does the pimp always use job fairs as a way of recruiting new hoes?
He always gets a great turnout.
Why does the environmentalist pimp have his hoes fuck bareback?
He wants to keep condoms out of landfills.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a trash bag?
There's a limit to how much trash goes in the trash bag.
Three women were in heaven. The angel at the gates said, "How good the ride into heaven is for you, is determined by your commitment to your most recent partner."
The first lady says, "2 years, 2 side-hoes." She got an old lexus.
The second lady says, "10 years, 1 visit from a prostitute." She got a Mercedes-Benz.
The third lady says, "I never had a husband."
The angel says in response, "F*ck me and then you can have a lambo."
They all arrive in heaven, to see the second lady crying.
The first lady says, "I know we are dead, but it could be a lot worse."
"How!?" The third lady cries, "The angel has a flute for a d*ck!"