Profession jokes
So, I was sitting with my little brother and talking about our dreams. "What do you wanna be when you grow up?" I asked him. He answered, "A doctor!" I wanted to tease him so I said, "I wouldn't be treated by a doctor like you." I was hoping he would get mad or something, but instead, he calmly replied, "Brother, I said doctor. Not a vet."
What do magicians and prostitutes have in common?
Answer: disappearing acts.
I am really hot, but I hate water. What am I?
Why do doctors use so much lipstick?
Because they love cos-medics!
What did the baker say when he forgot the cookie sheets?
Ooh, snickerdoodles!
How do you make a plumber cry?
Break his pipes...
The only profession where one could have coronavirus and still go to work is a suicide terrorist.
I'm starting a clown shoe store.
It's no small feat! :oD
Hi 👋! I love 💕 you! Ooooooo!
I'm a clown.
Why do people always tell actors to break a leg?
Because every play has a cast.
What time is it when a nurse's here?
It's nurse-thirty.
Me: I want to be a stand-up comedian.
Friend: You have to be able to stand up.
So what is the difference between a real doctor and a doctor of philosophy?
One cures the sick and the other makes them sick!
What is a bus driver that does not work? A useless one!
What is better for bus drivers? A. Magic school bus 🚌
Why are fire trucks big?
To hang out with the firefighters!
"I like planes."
- Plane Guy
There were three men in a car: the driver, a homeless man, and a rapper. The driver takes them to the woods and says, "I'm not really a cab driver, I'm a wanted killer." The homeless man says, "I'm not really homeless," and pulls out a chain. The rapper says, "If we're gonna be completely honest, I'm not a rapper, I'm a cop!"
What's the difference between a Doberman Pinscher and a Social Worker?
Eventually, you can get a baby back from a Doberman Pinscher.