I'd tell you a joke about my boyfriends dick, but It's a private joke.
What is a glory hole at the adult book store used for? campaign contribution to the Republican Party
What do you call a night guard at the glory hole inside a adult bookstore? guardian of the confessional booth
What does a glory hole and a confessional booth have in common? blowjob is anonymous
My sisters ask me "Are you really a virgin?" I say "That's nun of your business"
i hate it when ever i bring a girl over my parents don't care but when i bring one of my friends thats a boy there like KeEp ThE DoOr OpEn and im gay
I heard my neighbours having sex and it was annoying me, so I called my gf to ask if she wanted to go out but when I called her I heard my neighbours phone ringing
me:*gives her 5 dollars* climb that flag pole cute female:*takes the money and goes up the flag pole* is this good me:hell yeah thats a nice veiw *next day* heres 10 dollars if u do it again *she goes up there* me:hows the veiw *she goes home and her mom sees the money* her mom:where u getting this money her daughter:i climbed a flagpole her mom:you know he just want u to to see ur panties right *she goes back and does it again but doesnt wear panties* me:holy shit ;-; her mom:did u do it again her daughter:dont worry mom he didnt get to see my panties her mom:...
What happens when a guy is in a pool with a deck and no one is around the guy has to pee get up on the deck and stick you stick it between the bars and pee.
Ugh don’t you just hate it when your having sex and your parents walk in he room and say “ No more dead babies for your mister we are running low!”
I don’t know what’s worse: Finding bucket loads of porn on my dad’s laptop, or finding out he was in all of them
I was up all night because my neighbors were having sex.
*was actually up all night watching*
What do you call it when you get away with masturbating in the shower? You got off clean
Daughter: I know this is weird but I feel like that someone is watching me when I am sleeping.
Father: Sorry
what do you call a stalker stalking himself a narcissist
There once was a brother and a sister so one night it's storming really bad and the sister goes into the brothers room and asks " can I stay with you tonight because I'm scared" the brother replies with " yea sure but just don't tell Mom" so the girl climbs into the bed and looks under the sheets to see the boys penis and asks "what's that?" And the boy replies with "that's my pet snake" and the girl asks "can I pet it?" And the boy says "sure just don't tell Mom" and the boy falls asleep and wakes up in a hospital and asks "what happened" and the girl said "I pet the snake but it spit on me so I bit it's head off"
What does a dead baby look like? I don't know, I close my eyes when I masterbate
having sex in a elevator is wrong on so many levels
Stephen Hawking isn’t dead, he’s just using VPN.
Man looks at his friend and says "if you and a friend go camping and you two get really drunk and in the morning you wake up with a condom in your butt would you tell anyone? " The friend says im a disgusted tone "No" So the man says "ok let's go camping"
