Princess jokes
Kid says, “Are you a soldier?”
Soldier says, “Mhm.”
Kid says, “I wanna be a soldier someday.”
Soldier says, “Really?”
The kid says, “Yeah, but father says I don’t have the balls to be a soldier, but he’s right. I’m a FUCKING PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS!!!"
How did Princess Diana cross the road?
Through the windshield!
Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team? Because she ran away from the ball.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Di.
Di who?
See, easily forgotten.
Why did Snow White get kicked out of Disneyland?
She sat on Pinocchio's face and said: "Lie to me! Lie to me!"
Did you know Princess Diana's last dress she wore was white? But afterwards, it was red.
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? Glock, glock.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? She gagged!
What is the difference between Princess Diana and my laptop?
When my laptop crashes, I give a s**t.
What was the last hat Princess Diana wore?
A bonnet.
What's the difference between Princess Diana and Thomas the Tank Engine?
Thomas came out the other end of the tunnel.
Do you know why the Royal family can no longer play Monopoly?
How do you think Princess Diana died?
...Too soon?
What's the difference between the Queen's death and Princess Diana's death? The Queen died in peace, not pieces.
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? She gagged and moaned.
What’s the difference between a Mercedes and a Skoda?
Princess Di wouldn’t be seen dead in the back of a Skoda...
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she’ll let it goo!
Why did Cinderella get kicked out of Disneyland?
Because she sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie, bastard, lie!"
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? She gagged.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn’t wearing a seat belt.
Prince, can we please chat now? Pls, pls! Love you!