There was a Cheerio that had a job. He worked hard at it, and the boss came up and promoted him to the vice president of the Cheerios. So he needed a speech. He kept practicing and practicing and now he was thirsty. It was almost time for his speech, so he went to the drinking fountain, but there was a huge line. So he went to the lake, but he saw tons of garbage and what he thought was a cereal killer. So he found this bowl of punch, but he realized... there was no punchline.
The Pope and Donald Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd.
The Pope leaned towards Trump and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives. Whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!”
Trump replies, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!”
So the Pope slapped him.
Trump says to Obama, "You know it’s the White House, not the black house, right?" And Obama says, "Yeah, but it isn’t the orange house either."
Why does Donald Trump take Xanax?
For Hispanic attacks!
What does Donald Trump say when he declares war? Nuke them.
What does a pervert say when he declares war? Nude them.
What happened when Obama ran for president?
The whole US thought, "Holy hell, it's Osama bin Laden!" Thought he was dead.
What do you call a bullet head?
JFK.
I was rooting for Donald Trump to be president.
We haven't had a presidential assassination in a while.
DONALD TRUMP BEING PRESIDENT (is the biggest joke)
What is black and white and red all over?
JFK
Q: If George Washington was alive today, what would he do?
A: Scratch mercilessly at the coffin walls, while screaming at the top of his lungs!
What is the similarity between Pink Floyd and Donald Trump:
The best thing they did was a wall.
What is Trump's favorite snack?
Cheetos.
(Get it? He looks like a Cheeto!)
What is the difference between Trump and a flying pig? The letter F.
What's Trump's favorite instrument?
A TRUMPet!!!
Why is it that when Donald Trump and Melania make love, she is always on top?
Donald Trump can only F@#k up.
What do you say when Trump is still president during 2020? Magic!
Yo mama is so fat, she sat on a quarter and popped a booger out of George Washington's nose.
What will Donald Trump build in our devices?
A firewall.
What do you get when you cross Donald Trump with Fregley?
Orange juice.
