Why does Trump "not" wear glasses? Because he's got 20/20 vision!
President Jokes
I was asking people who knew Trump if he would win a second term. Stormy said, "No way, he doesn't have two in him!"
If Trump was an orphan, I know he would know not to build a wall because he was in one most of his life.
Where in hell is Lee Harvey Oswald now when we need him?
Americans won't have a Thanksgiving Dinner this year. Why not? They sent their turkey to the White House.
"Trump is Putin, America first!" hahaha
Why was going through JFK's head when he was getting assassinated? A bullet.
A man goes into heaven and there he meets Jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says, "That is Mother Teresa's clock, it has never moved because she has never lied." "There is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He has lied twice so it has moved twice." "Where is Donald Trump's?" asks the man. Jesus answers, "It is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."
Which president has never gone to jail?
Lincoln because he's innocent in a cent, get it?
Donald Trump is, like, really orange.
Why won't Trump be subject to impeachment?
Answer: Because Republicans in Congress insist that every baby be brought to full term!
Trump's medical records were just released. According to the brain scan, the left side of his brain has nothing right, while the right side has nothing left.
I was voting for Trump in the 2016 election. It's been a while since the last presidential assassination...
Jackie gives better head than Marilyn.
Puerto Rican teen: I'm a waste, a failure, NUNCA LO PODRA ASER (I'll never be able to do it).
The mother: AI NINO (OH CHILD).
The teen: QUE? (WHAT?)
The mother: NO TE PONGA CON ESTA MIELDA OTRAVES! (DON'T START WITH THIS SHIT AGAIN!)
The teen: I CAN'T DO SHIT RIGHT MAMA!
The mother: OOOHHH YEAH WELL TU SI PUEDES ABLAR MIELDA DE TI, I BOTAR BASURA! (YOU SURE CAN TALK CRAP ABOUT YOURSELF AND THROW OUT THE TRASH.)
The teen: QUAL (WHICH).
The mother: MADRE DE DIOS (MOTHER OF GOD).
The teen: AVIA UNA NEGRA I OTRA BLANKA (THERE WAS A BLACK ONE AND WHITE ONE).
*A phone buzzes.*
The teen: Whose phone is that, ma?
Unknown: MR. PRESIDENT IF YOU TAKE AWAY THE CONFEDERATE FLAG HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHO THE BAD WHITE PEOPLE ARE?
*Runs to bag, opens white one and sticks hand in.*
The teen: HAIR GEL
An assassin is about to shoot his target, "I'm about to give you the JFK experience."
At the back of Abraham Lincoln's mind, next to the bullet hole, he was thinking about how slavery is wrong.
"myname is president trump i am stupid!!! I am SO STUPID!! AJsifdjsaoifjhdsfoijds"
Hillary Clinton would make a good president.
I was hit on by President Kennedy, too bad I shot him down.
