Pregnancy jokes
My mum told me to stop playing with my sister. She said, "At least wait for her to be born first."
Jakob's life.
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant.
After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing diapers!”
She replies: “Oh my god! Am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?”
To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”
All jokes are funny with the correct delivery. Except for abortion jokes, there is no delivery.
What's the best part of not wearing a condom when I'm with my girlfriend? My mom went through menopause.
What's 6ft long, red, and my girlfriend cries when I feed it to her?
A miscarriage.
I don't like condoms, but I like gay pregnant X.
What's red, small, wet, and crawls up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
There were three babies in a mom's stomach. One baby asks, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" The other baby answers, "A doctor. I want to help people. What about you?"
"I want to be an engineer. I want to make things. What about you?" he asks to the third baby.
"I want to be a hunter."
"Why?" the other babies ask.
"I want to kill the snake that spits on my face."
Any joke can be funny with the right delivery. Except abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.
What's the best thing about abortion jokes?
They never get old.
I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.
My town's population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.
How do you get a nun pregnant? -- Dress her up as an alter boy.