Pregnancy jokes
Mom said dad had the best pullout game... now I'm an uncle.
Mama Mia's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is our sauce.
What do women have on an empty stomach? A miscarriage.
What's red, white, and blue and crawls up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
A miscarriage always brings the child out in me.
What is 6 inches long and makes women scream? Stillbirth...
If babies stay in their mothers for 9 months, are they not 9 months old when they are born?
What's the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus? They're both saying "Oh my god, my mom's gonna kill me!"
What do an abortion and a baby have in common?
The mom doesn't want either of them.
The doctor says to the woman, "There was good and bad news." The woman says she wants the bad news first. The doctor says, "The bad news is the baby had red hair." Then he said, "The good news is, it is dead."
Ring ring.
Abortion clinic!
Where no fetus can beat us.
What is a similarity between a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her?
They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"
What’s pink, nine inches, and makes my wife cry when I shove it down her throat?
Her Miscarriage.
A guy and a woman are walking into a forest. The woman says she is lonely. The guy then says, "Don't worry, there will be a third person in a little while."
Why did the little kid cry? His dad forgot to pull out.
What is the Harry Potter spell that aborts babies?
Fetus Deletus!
I can't decide which side to take on abortion; on one hand it kills babies and on the other it gives women a choice...
What is more time-consuming than children?
Waiting for your wife to go into labor!
Nurse: Don't worry, I'm great with babies. Parents: You are? Nurse: Yeah, I always abort them. Parent:... Parent: You're hired.
My mum told me to stop playing with my sister. She said, "At least wait for her to be born first."