Neo-Confederates all claim to be about "heritage" not "hate". Well, if your heritage consists of Kelly Clarkson, riding on siblings, and treating Donald Trump as if he's the second coming, then it really sucks to be you.
Did you ever think that John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head?
What do you call a Communist sniper? -- A Marxman.
What do the initials ACLU stand for?
🤔
American Communist Lawyers Union.
We really should erect a statue of the guy who killed Hitler.
Nazis have marched in Melbourne. Are you sure Eric Clapton and Carrie Underwood are not touring in Australia?
Joe Biden's speeches are so motivational. In fact, I have been stuck at home these past few weeks, and his well articulated words were enough for me to muster up the courage to jump off of a 10 story building.
People claim that Trump has Russian ties. That’s not true, just some crazy conspiracy theorists. All of Trump's ties are made in China.
Trump is going too far.
He deported a printer because it didn't have papers.
Do you know Putin?
Put in these balls in your mouth.
Why is it that when Donald Trump and Melania make love, she is always on top?
Donald Trump can only F@#k up.
BLM.
Biden Loves Bisexuality.
Why do orphans want to be communist?
So they would have a motherland.
What does an Al Qaeda terrorist and a flexible man have in common?
They can blow themselves up.
A man goes into heaven and there he meets Jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says, "That is Mother Teresa's clock, it has never moved because she has never lied." "There is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He has lied twice so it has moved twice." "Where is Donald Trump's?" asks the man. Jesus answers, "It is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."
It's no surprise Donald Trump moved to Florida. That's where the oranges are.
We're skipping April Fools' Day this year. The biggest joke is already sitting in office running our country.
What was the last thing to go through JFK's mind?
A bullet.
A class is being taught when Bill Clinton walks in. He asks the class, "What is a tragedy?"
One kid, named Jim, raises his hand and says, "If my family and I got ran over by a truck, that would be a tragedy." Bill Clinton replies, "That would be an accident, not a tragedy."
A couple of seconds later, Audrey raises her hand and says, "If a school shooting would happen and 10 kids died, that would be a tragedy." Bill Clinton replies once again with: "That would be a great loss, not a tragedy." All of the kids are confused now when all of a sudden Matthew says, "If you and Hillary Clinton were on an airplane and it got blown up, that would be a tragedy!"
"Yes!" Says Bill Clinton "How do you know?" Matthew says happily, "It is definitely not an accident, and certainly not a great loss!"
Why did the democrats come out of the closet as assholes after they found out that Rush Limbaugh died? Because they don't fear him anymore.
