Politics jokes

What is the politically correct term for rabbit shit?

Raisins.

This chess game against America and England is getting interesting. First, America lost both of its towers, but now England has lost its queen.

Did you ever think that John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head?

Neo-Confederates all claim to be about "heritage" not "hate". Well, if your heritage consists of Kelly Clarkson, riding on siblings, and treating Donald Trump as if he's the second coming, then it really sucks to be you.

What do you call a Communist sniper? -- A Marxman.

What do the initials ACLU stand for?

🤔

American Communist Lawyers Union.

We really should erect a statue of the guy who killed Hitler.

Nazis have marched in Melbourne. Are you sure Eric Clapton and Carrie Underwood are not touring in Australia?

Joe Biden's speeches are so motivational. In fact, I have been stuck at home these past few weeks, and his well articulated words were enough for me to muster up the courage to jump off of a 10 story building.

People claim that Trump has Russian ties. That’s not true, just some crazy conspiracy theorists. All of Trump's ties are made in China.

Trump is going too far.

He deported a printer because it didn't have papers.

Why is it that when Donald Trump and Melania make love, she is always on top?

Donald Trump can only F@#k up.

Do you know Putin?

Put in these balls in your mouth.

BLM.

Biden Loves Bisexuality.

Why do orphans want to be communist?

So they would have a motherland.

A man goes into heaven and there he meets Jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says, "That is Mother Teresa's clock, it has never moved because she has never lied." "There is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He has lied twice so it has moved twice." "Where is Donald Trump's?" asks the man. Jesus answers, "It is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."

What does an Al Qaeda terrorist and a flexible man have in common?

They can blow themselves up.

It's no surprise Donald Trump moved to Florida. That's where the oranges are.

Abortion clinics are kind of like NAZI gas chambers. Less people come out than go in.

We all know that Lincoln and Kennedy are the most open-minded presidents in the world.