Russian history in 5 words: "And then things got worse."
The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters, ...
so Trump can't tweet it.
I asked my North Korean friend, "what's it like to live in North Korea?" He responded, "can't complain."
If Mexico is an unredeemable shithole, then how come the Republicans' favorite senator, Ted Cruz, ran to Mexico as fast as he could after a little bit of snow in his home?
Urban areas are filled with terrorists, feminists, liberals, and murderers. Which one is not like the others? Murderers because they don't pretend to have a cause.
What did Donald Trump serve to Justin Trudeau at a state dinner?
Poutine with Russian dressing!
How Chinese is COVID? About the same as those red MAGA hats made in China.
Why does Donald Trump take Xanax?
For Hispanic attacks!
Genders are like the twin towers. There used to be two, but now it's just a sensitive subject.
The Pope and Donald Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd.
The Pope leaned towards Trump and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives. Whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!”
Trump replies, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!”
So the Pope slapped him.
Donald: "If I lose this election, I will leave the country."
Joe: "Bi den"
What is the politically correct term for rabbit shit?
Raisins.
Why did Trump go to Jeffrey's secret Island?
So he could trump that little bitch!
What do you call a Trump Supporter?
A piece of $hit!
This chess game against America and England is getting interesting. First, America lost both of its towers, but now England has lost its queen.
Hey JFK, what would you do if you were in a fight?
JFK: Well, I'd give them a piece of my mind.
Neo-Confederates all claim to be about "heritage" not "hate". Well, if your heritage consists of Kelly Clarkson, riding on siblings, and treating Donald Trump as if he's the second coming, then it really sucks to be you.
Did you ever think that John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head?
What do you call a Communist sniper? -- A Marxman.
What do the initials ACLU stand for?
🤔
American Communist Lawyers Union.
