Politics jokes

What do U.S. airstrikes and dark humor have in common?

They're normally pointed towards Africa and the Middle East.

How 9/11 Happened!:

Hey Bush, Truth or dare?

My favorite sex position is the JFK. I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.

What is a glory hole at the adult book store used for?

Campaign contributions to the Republican Party.

Why did the ACLU block the cellphone number of a Christian nationalist minister? Because the Christian nationalist had a virus on his cellphone and kept calling the ACLU because he wanted to join the ACLU because he wanted to become a card-carrying member of the ACLU.

I asked my North Korean friend, "what's it like to live in North Korea?" He responded, "can't complain."

Want my opinion on Mongolia? It has its pros and Khans.

Russian history in 5 words: "And then things got worse."

How Chinese is COVID? About the same as those red MAGA hats made in China.

Urban areas are filled with terrorists, feminists, liberals, and murderers. Which one is not like the others? Murderers because they don't pretend to have a cause.

Why does Donald Trump take Xanax?

For Hispanic attacks!

The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters, ...

so Trump can't tweet it.

If Mexico is an unredeemable shithole, then how come the Republicans' favorite senator, Ted Cruz, ran to Mexico as fast as he could after a little bit of snow in his home?

What did Donald Trump serve to Justin Trudeau at a state dinner?

Poutine with Russian dressing!

Donald: "If I lose this election, I will leave the country."

Joe: "Bi den"

JFK was one of the most open-minded presidents. It really blows my mind how great he was.

Genders are like the twin towers. There used to be two, but now it's just a sensitive subject.

The Pope and Donald Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd.

The Pope leaned towards Trump and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives. Whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!”

Trump replies, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!”

So the Pope slapped him.

Why did Trump go to Jeffrey's secret Island?

So he could trump that little bitch!

Hey JFK, what would you do if you were in a fight?

JFK: Well, I'd give them a piece of my mind.