Politics jokes
What do you get when you cross a corrupt lawyer with a crooked politician?
Chelsea Clinton.
Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and George Washington are on a sinking ship.
As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts: “Save the women!”
George W. Bush hysterically hollers: “Screw the women!”
Bill Clinton asks excitedly: “Do we have time?”
Bill Clinton and Joe Biden are on a sinking ship.
Joe Biden says we need to save the women and children. Bill Clinton says, "Screw the women and children." Joe Biden says, "Do we have that much time?"
Why did Kamala Harris visit the library?
To check out some “law” books and maybe return a few skeletons.
These days, there are only two political parties in India: BJP and anti-BJP.
Memes
Madatgascar
If Kamala Harris is Indian, why doesn’t she have that dot on her head?
So she claims to be.
And the only black color I know is when you shut off the lights.
Three friends are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia.
The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly.
After a while, the tired man gets frustrated and walks downstairs for a smoke. He stops in the lounge and asks the receptionist to bring tea to their room in five minutes.
The man walks back into the room, joins the table, leans towards a power outlet and speaks into it:
"Comrade major, we want some tea to room 62 please."
His friends laugh at the joke, until there is a knock on the door. The receptionist brings a teapot. His friends fall silent and pale, horrified of what they just witnessed. The party is dead, and the man goes to sleep.
After a good night's rest, the man wakes up, and notices his friends are gone. Surprised, he walks downstairs and asks the receptionist where they went.
The nervous receptionist whispers that KGB came and took them before dawn.
The man is horrified. He wonders why he was spared.
The receptionist responds:
"Well, comrade major did quite like your tea joke."
It was 7:00 a.m. when Billy ran downstairs after a long night of sleep. He got to the kitchen where his mother and father sat. "What would you like for breakfast?" Billy's mom asked politely. Billy replied with, "Whatever Dad gave you last night in your bedroom would be great! You seemed to like it very much!"
What is Donald Trump’s favorite nation? – Discrimination.
In order to get $355 million for his civil fraud case, Donald Trump desperately needed to fundraise. So, in every Republican Party event, he will serve the Patriotic Trump Dog! It consists of an 80-year-old sausage inside a 10-year-old cream bun, topped with Russian dressing.
Trump does have the best people, doesn't he?
What do you call an orange on a small stick?
Donald Trump.
Why does Donald Trump have a fervent crush on the Russian president?
He is Putin his dick where it don't belong!
Genders are like the twin towers. There used to be two of them, and now it’s a sensitive subject.
People claim that Trump has Russian ties.
FAKE NEWS!
All of Trump's ties are made in China.
what happens when the president turns emo?
the great depression.
How did Donald Trump win Alabama twice?
By declaring that he has a crush on his daughter!
What's the difference between Donald Trump and Derek Vinyard?
A shaved head, a chest tattoo, and a moustache.
Why do Republican men hate transgender people?
Because they lost a dick-measuring contest to a ladyboy in Thailand!
What did Donald Trump serve Justin Trudeau at the state dinner?
Poutine in traditional Russian dressing!
Why is Donald Trump so desperate to break into the White House?
Most landlords cannot lease their properties to him due to the fact that he is a felon.