Politics jokes
What's the difference between Donald Trump and Derek Vinyard?
A shaved head, a chest tattoo, and a moustache.
Why is Donald Trump so desperate to break into the White House?
Most landlords cannot lease their properties to him due to the fact that he is a felon.
Why is Donald Trump so jealous of Usain Bolt?
Because he successfully finished a race!
All those people claiming Donald Trump is like Hitler need a reality check.
After all, it's not like Donald Trump could write a book.
What did Donald Trump serve Justin Trudeau at the state dinner?
Poutine in traditional Russian dressing!
Donald Trump is proud of being white, which is strange, considering he's orange. Makes you wonder why he didn't pull a Michael Jackson and bleach his own skin....
What is Hitler's favorite game?
Nahtzee.
Sometimes you just need to take a drive through the city to clear your head.
-JFK
How do Mexicans feel about Trump's wall? -- They'll get over it.
Communist jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets them.
"Monica Lewinsky has gone down on Bill Clinton several times. What's stopping her from having a one-night stand with Donald Trump?"
"Trump is nothing more than a little pussy, don't ya know?"
What did Hitler say when he was blindfolded?
I can Nazi!
What is a glory hole at the adult bookstore used for?
campaign contribution to the Republican Party.
I got sent out of a library for putting a women's rights book in the fiction section.
Why are Republicans supporting giving felons the right to vote?
Because their own personal jeebus is a felon!
Why were Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy very wise presidents?
They both had an open mind.
"Dude, can you believe Republicans are opposed to homosexuality, women's rights, and immigration, yet they are silent when it comes to incest and child molestation?"
"Well, I'm not surprised. Republicans have to win the Alabama vote, or else."
Islamist guys and American Christian right-wing guys are both similar in that both abhor the existence of gay people, but only the Christian Right loves to eat sausages, especially the little ones, if you know what I mean...
If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a boat and it capsizes. Who survives? -- America.
What do U.S. airstrikes and dark humor have in common?
They're normally pointed towards Africa and the Middle East.