Politics jokes

What's the difference between Donald Trump and Derek Vinyard?

A shaved head, a chest tattoo, and a moustache.

Why is Donald Trump so jealous of Usain Bolt?

Because he successfully finished a race!

What did Donald Trump serve Justin Trudeau at the state dinner?

Poutine in traditional Russian dressing!

Donald Trump is proud of being white, which is strange, considering he's orange. Makes you wonder why he didn't pull a Michael Jackson and bleach his own skin....

What is Hitler's favorite game?

Nahtzee.

Why is Donald Trump so desperate to break into the White House?

Most landlords cannot lease their properties to him due to the fact that he is a felon.

Sometimes you just need to take a drive through the city to clear your head.

-JFK

All those people claiming Donald Trump is like Hitler need a reality check.

After all, it's not like Donald Trump could write a book.

How do Mexicans feel about Trump's wall? -- They'll get over it.

Communist jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets them.

"Monica Lewinsky has gone down on Bill Clinton several times. What's stopping her from having a one-night stand with Donald Trump?"

"Trump is nothing more than a little pussy, don't ya know?"

What did Hitler say when he was blindfolded?

I can Nazi!

What is a glory hole at the adult bookstore used for?

campaign contribution to the Republican Party.

I got sent out of a library for putting a women's rights book in the fiction section.

Why were Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy very wise presidents?

They both had an open mind.

Islamist guys and American Christian right-wing guys are both similar in that both abhor the existence of gay people, but only the Christian Right loves to eat sausages, especially the little ones, if you know what I mean...

"Dude, can you believe Republicans are opposed to homosexuality, women's rights, and immigration, yet they are silent when it comes to incest and child molestation?"

"Well, I'm not surprised. Republicans have to win the Alabama vote, or else."

What do U.S. airstrikes and dark humor have in common?

They're normally pointed towards Africa and the Middle East.

If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a boat and it capsizes. Who survives? -- America.

Look, I'm innocent. I was just going on vacation in NY, but my co-pilot said: "Hit it with your best shot."