Politics

Politics jokes

Donald Trump

Why is Donald Trump so desperate to break into the White House?

Most landlords cannot lease their properties to him due to the fact that he is a felon.

Race

Why is Donald Trump so jealous of Usain Bolt?

Because he successfully finished a race!

Donald Trump

All those people claiming Donald Trump is like Hitler need a reality check.

After all, it's not like Donald Trump could write a book.

Donald Trump

Donald Trump is proud of being white, which is strange, considering he's orange. Makes you wonder why he didn't pull a Michael Jackson and bleach his own skin....

JFK

Sometimes you just need to take a drive through the city to clear your head.

-JFK

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  • Wall

    How do Mexicans feel about Trump's wall? -- They'll get over it.

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  • Donald Trump

    "Monica Lewinsky has gone down on Bill Clinton several times. What's stopping her from having a one-night stand with Donald Trump?"

    "Trump is nothing more than a little pussy, don't ya know?"

    Glory Hole

    What is a glory hole at the adult bookstore used for?

    campaign contribution to the Republican Party.

    President

    Why were Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy very wise presidents?

    They both had an open mind.

    Felon

    Why are Republicans supporting giving felons the right to vote?

    Because their own personal jeebus is a felon!

    Book

    I got sent out of a library for putting a women's rights book in the fiction section.

    Vacation

    Look, I'm innocent. I was just going on vacation in NY, but my co-pilot said: "Hit it with your best shot."

    Gay People

    Islamist guys and American Christian right-wing guys are both similar in that both abhor the existence of gay people, but only the Christian Right loves to eat sausages, especially the little ones, if you know what I mean...

    America

    If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a boat and it capsizes. Who survives? -- America.

    Airstrike

    What do U.S. airstrikes and dark humor have in common?

    They're normally pointed towards Africa and the Middle East.

    Sex position

    My favorite sex position is the JFK. I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.