The new pandemic is feminism and all kinds of democratic thinking. COVID is a joke compared to these nasty ass diseases.
My cousin asked me, "What do you think was going through Hitler's mind right before he died?"
I told him, "Probably a bullet."
I would tell a Biden joke except everyone would not stop falling asleep (including him).
How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But you need 5000 Soviet troops in case he goes on strike!
Why did Hitler go for handicap?
Because they can’t stand up for themselves.
What did Donald Trump serve to Justin Trudeau at a state dinner?
Poutine with Russian dressing!
I'd love to move to a country ruled by Scott Stapp of Creed. Not only is it a place with golden streets, but it also welcomes people of all kinds with arms wide open.
If Hitler was in a car doing his salute, he would be saying, "Take the third right."
Joe Biden is the first president in history to have a vice president on record claiming they believed sexual harassment allegations against him.
I don't know about you, but I think that's a pretty big elephant in the room!
"Everyone knows I love kids better than people."
- Joe Biden. (A.K.A. Pedo Peter.)
If I'm racist for voting Trump, then you're a pedophile for voting Biden.
Biden: See you later, alligator!
Alligator: In a while, pedophile.
What did Obama ask Trump?
Hello guys. It's me, Donald fuckin' Trump. Ask me anything in the comments, guys.
Who made the most money from 9/11? The US government.
A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned to a discussion of job descriptions and promotion.
"What do you have to look forward to in way of a promotion in your job?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, I'm next in line for the Monsignor's job," replied the Priest.
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, next I can become Bishop," said the Priest.
"Yes, and then?" asked the Rabbi.
"If I work real hard and do a good job as Bishop, it's possible for me to become an Archbishop," said the Priest.
"O.K., then what?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest, beginning to get a bit exasperated, replied, "With some luck and real hard work, maybe I can become a Cardinal."
"And then?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest is really starting to get mad now and replies, "With lots and lots of luck and some real difficult work and if I'm in the right places at the right times and play my political games just right, maybe, just maybe, I can get elected Pope."
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Good grief!" shouted the Priest. "What do you expect me to become, GOD?"
"Well," said the Rabbi, "One of our boys made it!"
Why did the feminist get banned? For spreading conspiracy theories about the (non-existent) gender wage gap.
Putin's Brain:
Instead of Obama, it was supposed to be Osama. Pretending I got their names mixed up.
I would like to thank my favorite President Barack Obama. Sorry, Barack Obama and my uncle Obama bin Laden. I mean Osama bin Laden. Sorry, hummus in my throat.
