Politics jokes

I went to kill Biden with poison water and mixed it with my finger, and then licked it. I passed out, and now I'm here.

Why is America bad at playing Clash of Clans?

Because they already lost two towers.

How to get into politics?

Fail art school.

What's George Floyd's newest song?

"I can't breathe."

What do you call a blank piece of paper?

Women's rights.

What is something you can’t say in a superhero movie?

“Is it a bird, is it a plane, well whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.”

What’s the difference between a fetus and a woman?

A fetus has more rights.

If anyone ever makes a time machine, please make a bunker for Hitler/the Nazis and send them to 2050. I want to see who would die first, future us or them.

What is 80 feet wide and has 22 teeth?

Answer: The front row of a Trump Rally!

Zelensky: I'm begging for Russian forces to withdraw from the whole of Ukraine.

Putin: Crimea river.

What's the slogan for a Muslim gym?

Might in dynamite.

1 like = 1 small dick whiny conservative in my blender.

Consent before sex is a joke. It's just politically correct feminazi propaganda.

What does an Al Qaeda terrorist and a flexible man have in common?

They can blow themselves up.

What is a group of singing terrorists called? A Taliband.

Why do INBRED RACIST WHITE TRASH SCUM live on "Welfare" and vote for Republicans?

Answer: Because they are RETARDED due to the "Inbreeding"!

Qassem Soleimani is so popular today.

I mean, he just blew up overnight!

Nazis have marched in Melbourne. Are you sure Eric Clapton and Carrie Underwood are not touring in Australia?

The reason they attacked the towers is because the terrorists thought the towers were giant middle fingers pointed at them. What silly saudis!

What do you call a blind German? Someone who can't Nazi!