Politics jokes
Donald Trump being president is the biggest joke.
I can tell why the Founding Fathers adopted the Constitution, because nobody likes it.
Random guy: Come on, Bin Laden, time is ticking. Get it, ticking. OK, I'll leave.
Women’s rights.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two; one to screw in the lightbulb and one to SUCK MY COCK!
Donald Trump has too much sand in his vagina.
What's red, white, and blue and crawls up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
What is black and white and red all over?
JFK
Why did Hitler get hit by a car? Because he did Nazi that coming!
What was the Roman Empire cut in half by?
A pair of Caesars.
Abortion is not a joke.
Kid: I'm hungry.
Dad Bot: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
Teenager: I'm Hitler did nothing wrong.
Dad Bot: Hi Hitler did nothing wrong, I'm dad.
Nazi: Finally!
What is the similarity between Pink Floyd and Donald Trump:
The best thing they did was a wall.
How many Russians does it take to change a light bulb?
I don't know, they just keep Putin them in.
"Nahtzee"
"(live comedy club) Foul Mouthed Trump Hating Comic:
......"Hey how 'bout that Donald Trump chump, what the fuck up with that dude, man? Geeeezus, he got some kuh-razy ass shit spewing endlessly out that pie-hole, 24/8!" (< leap week, muthafukas!) . . . "I mean, even his last name rhymes with shit that's synonymous for being fucked up, for instance"....
STUMP: TEENY DICK
BUMP: TINY TIT
GUMP: DIMWITTED MOVIE IDIOT GUY
MUMP: A FUCKED UP CHILDREN'S DISEASE
LUMP: IF IT'S MALIGNANT, YOU'RE KINDA FUCKED
UMP: OFTEN MAKES TERRIBLE CALLS
RUMP: AN ASS
DUMP: A PILE OF SHIT THAT CAME OUT OF AN ASS
HUMP: SOMETHING DADDY DID TO HIM DAILY THROUGHOUT CHILDHOOD
PUMP: SEE "HUMP" . . . and last, but definitely not least --
JUMP: JUMP INTO A DEEP HOLE MOTHER FUCKER, AND GO TO HELL!!
.... "Well that's about it for me as my explosive diarrhea is about ready to take a turn for the worse!! ......(splort!, plop!)....... OOOOPS!! ..... sniff, sniff........ Ewww!" (audience roars) "Fuhhhhk!". . . I better go, 'cause I just went!! ..... Ha! ha! ha!" . . . "Thank You Lazies and Gerbilmen! Good Night!!" ............
(endless laughter, guffaws, cheers, jeers, queers, beers, pants pee-ing, beaters beating, pepper sprayin', guns poppin')
"OH LORDY!!... HELL HATH FINALLY COMETH, AND ARMAGETTIN' THE FUCK OUTTA HEEE!!"
(quick curtain call, and off to waiting taxi.........with the windows down) .......Amen."
Trying to make a baby talk is like trying to negotiate with North Korea.
"Jingle bells, Osama smells."
What is the best thing about gay people?
They're gay about being gay even though they're gonna get shot in the USA. Wait, that rhymes!
What is Trump's favorite snack?
Cheetos.
(Get it? He looks like a Cheeto!)