Player jokes
What did the adopted poker player say?
"Will you raise me?"
Q: What is the difference between a baseball player and an orphan?
A: One knows where home is.
Where do you find white people on a bench?
- The NBA.
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
What does Marcus Rashford say when he comes to the stadium?
I wanna kick some balls!
Memes
Fr tho
What is the difference between a frog and a trombone player?
The frog might be on his way to a gig!
Which Pokémon do soccer players like the most?
GOALduck.
What bee doesn’t fly properly?
Kobe.
I went to the store and bought Minecraft Java Edition.
I found a village, burned it down, and then I went home and played Minecraft.
What’s the difference between a WNBA player and a rotten apple? The apple has a chance to make it into the basket.
🎵Penaldo Thrills🎵
C’mon c’mon turn the VAR on.
It's Penalty time and it won't be long.
Gotta dive and cry some more.
It's Penalty time and it won't be long.
‘Til I Hit the floor and dive alot.
Cry some more and dive alot. That all I need, because I got u my love, Penalty.
What's the difference between a hipster and a hockey player? A hockey player changes his pads every third period.
I feel bad for all American Clash Royale players.
They always start with two towers downed.
Being the first to move in chess.
It’s a white privilege.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
What's an Emo's least favorite game?
Fruit Ninja.
Cristiano Clapnaldo woke up FEELING DANGEROUS against Real Sociedad!
- 0 tapins! - 0 assists! - 3/3 dives! - 0 key passes! - 2 big chances missed! - 1/4 dribbles! - 2 Offsides! - 27 claps!
Better than Elanga?
I was born and raised in Newcastle.
My grandfather used to tell me stories about Penaldo, a goblin from Portugal that travels to England when Newcastle is playing. He scores a tapin and then disappears until the next Newcastle game. I still have nightmares that he’s in our stadium.
2k14 was so realistic when I switched to Kobe, the pass button stopped working.
How do clarinet players play a song?
They reed their music.