Player jokes
I am a George Formby fan, and I love football. My favourite manager was Arsène Wenger. My favourite referee was Collina. My favourite player was Dean Windas. So my favourite George Formby song was "Wenger, Collina, Windas."
Two boys were playing cards on a picnic table outside the school. Both of the boys had revolvers hidden in their waistband.
Now, one of the boys was a notorious cheater, who liked to hide his cards in his waistband. Recess was just about to end, when all the kids heard a loud bang erupt from the picnic table. In tears, the card player admitted that he had shot the other card player, stating "I played a King, and he started reaching for his waistband!"
What’s the difference between a WNBA player and a rotten apple? The apple has a chance to make it into the basket.
What bee doesn’t fly properly?
Kobe.
Wordle be like (Part 2):
COMBS 💚🩶🩶🩶💚
CURES 💚💚🩶🩶💚
CULTS 💚💚🩶💚💚
What do you call a dick playing badminton?
A shuttlecock.
Technoblade can defeat every Minecraft player, but he still can't defeat cancer!
Why were the UK and the USA bad at chess?
Because they lost their queen and two towers.
Kobe missed a lot of shots, but he sure didn’t miss the mountain.
"Banjo players spend half their lives tuning... and the other half out of tune."
I'm a banjo picker, and I can confirm this is 99% true.
My cousin: Brother, I lost in a game of Call of Duty: Moe Bill [he was supposed to pronounce it as mobile; however, I left it as it is].
Me: So tell me about it then.
My cousin: I lost to Sum_Baldi.
Me: Somebody? Don’t they have, like, the name of you opponents?
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Baldi. S.U.M_B.A.L.D.I.
Me: Ok, my bad. Continue.
My cousin: I got Sum_Baldi, and 5 seconds later, I got kill[ed] by Sum_Fing_Wong.
Me: It’s not wrong! In Call of Duty, you are suppose to kill or be killed.
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Fing_Wong. S.U.M_F.I.N.G_W.O.N.G.
Me: My bad again. Do continue.
My cousin: I got so angry I blow[ed] up.
Me: So you got blowed up, by what weapon?
My cousin: By the game.
Me: [was not expecting that for an answer]
Roblox Brookhaven be like:
"ABC if you wanna be adopted."
"ABC if you wanna be my friend."
"ABC if you wanna be a banker."
"ABC if you wanna rob the bank."
"ABC if you wanna date."
"ABC if you wanna sex."
What's the difference between red wings and old cassette tape players?
One eats tape while the other eats pussy.
Why are people from New York so bad at chess?
Because they quickly lose two towers (rooks).
Why is basketball such a messy sport?
'Cause the players are always dribbling everywhere!
What's a horse's favorite football player? NEIGH-mar!
Billy and Bobby were walking to school one day. Billy pulled out an mp3 player.
"What's that?" Bobby inquired.
"Oh, just something to zone out the other kids," Billy responded.
The next day, Billy and Bobby were walking to school. Billy rummaged through his backpack and pulled out an mp4 player this time.
"Woah! What's that?" Bobby inquired.
"Oh, just a lil something to shut out the annoying kids at school," Billy responded.
The next day, Bobby noticed Billy's backpack was particularly heavy looking. Billy rummaged through his backpack just outside the school and pulled out an mp5 rifle.
"Holy shit, dude! What the fuck is that for?" Bobby gasped.
"Nice huh? This'll shut those fuckers up for good!" Billy replied.
I feel bad for all American Clash Royale players.
They always start with two towers downed.
I have two eyes and am afraid of sex.
A Fortnite player.
Who’s better, Bird or Magic?