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Play jokes

People always ask what the secret of our family's happiness is. It is simple really.

1. Television and computer games are limited to a couple of hours each week.

2. We all give each other a hand when needed.

Last but not least, we play Twister.

If you play the movie "Jaws" in reverse, it's a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms and legs to disabled people.

Why didn’t the orphan play baseball?

Because I took the bat and swung it at their kneecaps, and now they can’t run. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

The day I saw people asking Lebron James whether he liked to play basketball, my thoughts be like: wait, so Lebron James is gay cuz he likes to play with them balls.

What do you call an emo kid playing with fire?

Forgot to clean little piece of dust.

Why does Michael Jackson have such a hard time playing chess?

He can't choose between black or white.

How have you been recently?

Oh, just playing some Rhydon.

What’s Rhydon?

Rhydon deez nutz!

Why does Helen Keller use her left hand to play with herself?

So she can moan with her right hand.

I was playing a tennis match against a girl and said, "I will fuck you up." She said, "Try me." So that's exactly what I did, and I won by forfeit as she ended up running away crying.

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