Planet jokes
Global warming will kill every single person on this planet.
It's a good thing I'm married.
How do astronauts have a party?
They planet.
Why has nobody been on Neptune? Because the wind is so big. And why the wind's so big? Because Neptune's yelling, "GETT OFFF MMY PPRROOPERRTY!!"
Uranus is sideways and leaking methane.
Earth is smaller than Uranus, wth?
Yo mama so fat, she plays tennis with Pluto.
How do you throw a space party?
You plan-et! Hahahaha, get it?
What is the biggest butt in the world?
The bottom of the ocean.
Uranus is a gassy planet.
NASA is going to probe Uranus, and it might take a while to get there.
What does Mars like to eat?
A Mars bar!
The earth is flat.
What planet is related to planet butts? Uranus.
I like Uranus.
Uranus is blue.
There's gonna be 8 planets right after I destroy Uranus.
We are gonna crush you in the try not to laugh.
Why did Saturn have rings?
Because God liked it so he put a ring on it.
I found an alien in my backyard. I put him to work. He went to a farm, and I never saw him again. Moments later, he is on the Daily Planet acting as a reporter. A green rock smashed my house. I called him back, and he passed out.
I remarked, "You lazy!"
I went to a museum and saw clocks. The owner told me these were lying clocks.
"This is God's clock. It never moved because he never lied."
"This is your clock. It moved 3 times because you lied 3 times."
I asked where is President Trump's clock. He said it was at the equator, spinning super fast for those who were on fire. I laughed so hard because it was so true!