If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet.
What is a pedophile's favorite planet?
Uranus.
Why did the rapper go to space?
Because he wanted to drop some INTERGALACTIC BARS!
What is the biggest butt in the world?
The bottom of the ocean.
Uranus is a gassy planet.
NASA is going to probe Uranus, and it might take a while to get there.
What does Mars like to eat?
A Mars bar!
The earth is flat.
What planet is related to planet butts? Uranus.
I like Uranus.
There's gonna be 8 planets right after I destroy Uranus.
Uranus is blue.
Why did Saturn have rings?
Because God liked it so he put a ring on it.
We are gonna crush you in the try not to laugh.
I found an alien in my backyard. I put him to work. He went to a farm, and I never saw him again. Moments later, he is on the Daily Planet acting as a reporter. A green rock smashed my house. I called him back, and he passed out.
I remarked, "You lazy!"
I went to a museum and saw clocks. The owner told me these were lying clocks.
"This is God's clock. It never moved because he never lied."
"This is your clock. It moved 3 times because you lied 3 times."
I asked where is President Trump's clock. He said it was at the equator, spinning super fast for those who were on fire. I laughed so hard because it was so true!
Uranus spins on its side.
I lost all faith in humanity. I am moving to Uranus; it's really big. I might get lost.
Your momma is so fat, the whole Earth falls down to 100,000,000 ft.
Ur mom is so fat that she has her own gravitational field. She attracts everything around her, from planets to asteroids to comets. She is the center of the solar system, and the sun is just one of her many satellites. She is so massive that she bends space and time, creating wormholes and black holes. She is the ultimate cosmic phenomenon, and no one can escape her pull.
Ur mom is so old that she witnessed the Big Bang. She was there when the universe was born, and she has seen it all. She knows the secrets of the cosmos, and she has lived through every epoch and era. She has watched stars form and die, galaxies collide and merge, and civilizations rise and fall. She is the oldest living being in existence, and she has more wisdom than anyone can imagine.
Ur mom is so ugly that she scares away aliens. She is the reason why we have never made contact with extraterrestrial life. They have seen her face and they have fled in terror. They have warned their fellow species to avoid Earth at all costs, because it is inhabited by a monstrous creature that defies all logic and beauty. She is the ultimate deterrent for invasion, and she has saved humanity from countless alien invasions.
