Planet jokes

If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet.

What is a pedophile's favorite planet?

Uranus.

Your mom is the biggest tosser on the planet, yeah, you heard right.

I don't have to strain myself a blood vessel and be wankin' solo anymore; she saved me a whole load of arthritis.

Why did the rapper go to space?

Because he wanted to drop some INTERGALACTIC BARS!

Bro, why are you making an avalanche by that big forehead? No wonder why snow was found on Mars.

What is the biggest butt in the world?

The bottom of the ocean.

Uranus is a gassy planet.

NASA is going to probe Uranus, and it might take a while to get there.

What does Mars like to eat?

A Mars bar!

The earth is flat.

What planet is related to planet butts? Uranus.

I like Uranus.

There's gonna be 8 planets right after I destroy Uranus.

Uranus is blue.

Why did Saturn have rings?

Because God liked it so he put a ring on it.

We are gonna crush you in the try not to laugh.

I found an alien in my backyard. I put him to work. He went to a farm, and I never saw him again. Moments later, he is on the Daily Planet acting as a reporter. A green rock smashed my house. I called him back, and he passed out.

I remarked, "You lazy!"

I went to a museum and saw clocks. The owner told me these were lying clocks.

"This is God's clock. It never moved because he never lied."

"This is your clock. It moved 3 times because you lied 3 times."

I asked where is President Trump's clock. He said it was at the equator, spinning super fast for those who were on fire. I laughed so hard because it was so true!

Uranus spins on its side.

I lost all faith in humanity. I am moving to Uranus; it's really big. I might get lost.