Planet jokes
Your hairline is so far back, scientists consider it a ninth planet.
Your mama is so fat that when she jumped, they found water on Mars.
So, Dad is teaching his 8-year-old son about the planets and said, "This is Uranus." Then the 5-year-old son says, "Where is my anus?"
Why did Uranus say gross? Because he saw Uranus.
Phobos and Deimos are just asteroids in moon costumes, and Mars was blind due to its frequent sandstorms, so it let Phobos and Deimos be its moons.
I always knew that Maranda Sings was orbiting Uranus.
I heard that Uranus is pronounced "yuuranus," but it reminded me of urine! 😆
Kid: Why is Pluto a dwarf planet?
Kid 2: Why?
Kid: 'Cause it's as short as your dick.
What is Saturn's favorite song?
"7 Rings."
Why is there a hole in Uranus?
Don’t kill the Earth, it’s the only one with beer.
Uranus be like, "Oh look, I'm Uranus. Imagine how disgusted I feel."
What would Earth say if it had a boyfriend?
You need to com-it.
Your mom is the biggest tosser on the planet, yeah, you heard right.
I don't have to strain myself a blood vessel and be wankin' solo anymore; she saved me a whole load of arthritis.
Why did the rapper go to space?
Because he wanted to drop some INTERGALACTIC BARS!
You're so fat, when you jumped, the whole planet wiggled.
If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet.
Why is Jupiter so big? Because it works out!
Hey, I never knew we had a planet in our body!
Why is the world split in half? Because fat people are weighing the Earth down.