One day I went to talk to my friend. "Hi John!" I said. No response. "Oh yea." I went to pick up the remote and clicked the unmute button. "Hope that helps."
(A horrible pick up line) are you the two towers? Cause I'd love to take you out đź¤
Best pick up line EVER.
there is a app on your phone called ringer go into it there is a 12 to 15 digit number enter that into my phone my dick will get 12 to 15 inches longer
spy:hahaha me:what spy:time to pick up your mother me:oh no....
Why didn't Donald trump not pick up his phone when Jeffrey Epstein called him? Because Donald killed Jeffrey Epstein in prison to hide the evidence.
Ur the bus driver, the busy driver picks up twenty kids, drops two, picks up eighty. Drops seven picks up a women with green eyes, drops off a man with blue, kicks a kid in the face, and burried his mother. Who’s the bus driver You will never nose
spongebob: easy now you try first get a jar patrick: *picks up nuke* spongebob: patrick that's a nuke patrick: yes nuke: *boom*
we hired this boy to pick up dog poop we just remembered that we don't have a dog
Why was the rapper always in good shape?
Because he dropped the MIC and picked up WEIGHTS
A baby and his father are sitting in a street cafe. a woman bends over to pick up her keys just as a gust of wind blows up the woman's dress. "va va voom" the baby says. the dad chuckles and says "yes. I'd like to have sex with her too"
Jantje goes on a walk with his grandmother. Jantje sees 1 dollar on the street and picks it up. The grandmother says: Hey, jantje! No picking up things from the floor! They are ugly and bad! Then they keep walking. The grandmother slips and asks jantje to help her stand up. Jantje anwsers: No! Everything on the ground is ugly and bad.
Ooh!I know a joke!<--(papyrus) What is it?<---(Sans) Knock Knoock!<---(Papyrus) Uh..who's there?..<---(Sans) Sans<---(Papyrus) Sans who?<---(Sans) SANS IS LAZY!!!!!NOW PICK UP YOUR SOCKS BEFORE I SHOVE MY SPAGHETTI INTO YOUR MOUTH!<---(Papyrus)
The hardest part of picking up a hitch hiker is tieing them up
Yo mama so fat she can't pick she can't pick up a dumbbell...the dumbbell pick her up
Pick up line for girls with the last name "Berg": "I may be a tall glass of whiskey, but I'm nothing with out a few ice Bergs".
"what do you want to eat" "You choose" "Children" "What?" *Picks up pot* "You said anything"
What do women and dog turns have in common? The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
I would of told you a Chesey pun but it was too cheasy *picks up these*
Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?" Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"
I walked up to a group of moms having a conversation while waiting to pick up their kids from day care. They were using cutesy words like 'ankle biters', 'rug rats' and other terms I've heard parents use before when describing their toddlers.
I thought I'd chime in; as it turns out, 'carpet muncher' doesn't mean what I thought it does.
