So, you're human, huh? Well, I'm a skeleton, so not much gets under my skin.
Physiology Jokes
Teacher: Why do people snore?
Me: Because they sleep.
You don't need brains to be a Boss.
When the body was first created, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control all of the body's responses and functions."
The feet said, "We should be Boss since we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."
The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."
Finally, the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So, the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.
Within a short time, the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic, and the brain fevered. Eventually, they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!
Moral Of The Story: You don't need a brain to be a Boss----any asshole will do.
People say your body is 75% water, while mine [is] 100% full of coffee.
Why did the skeleton not go to the dance?
Because he had no BODY to go with!
What body part takes the longest to decay? The eyeball, because it will always dilate.
How many times do you nut? It depends how hard you do it.
Why are your eyes blue? Cuz they have food coloring in them.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?
Because he didn't have the guts to do it.
Why did the Pikachu say "Pi"??
He had to use the bathroom!
When you breathe.
Two muffins are sitting in a bar.
The first muffin says to the bartender, "I'll have the usual."
The second one does not say anything to the bartender because muffins lack the vocal ability of humans, and even with the proper anatomy capable of speech access, they would most certainly be entirely unable to comprehend the human language. In fact, the first muffin would indefinitely not be able to provide speech to the bartender. The muffins also lack the muscular structure to be capable of support themselves to being suspended also preventing their access to movement. Even with the human-like structure, muffins lack brains, which are an essential part of being able to send nerve contact within the legs to be able to move. Also, with them lacking a brain structure entirely prevents them from speech. The anatomy simply prohibits the food items mentioned to be able to carry out any of the tasks required to get them to said bar and be able to speak, thus making the situation untruthful and completely idiotic.
Why does the heart listen to music a lot?
Because it loves feeling the beat.
How much do the bones in your body weigh?
A skele-ton!
Why was the skeleton sad at the dance?
Because it had "no body" to go with.
If you cut off your head, you can't breathe.
You also can't breathe if you die.
So why isn't it debreathiation?
How do you help a constipated person?
You scare the shit out of them!
Why can't cheetahs run forever? Because they run out of breath!
Why did the skeleton eat tacos?
Because he was hungry.
Why do women fart when they pee? To blow dry.
