Physics jokes

Why was Stephen Hawking's wife mad at him?

She caught him having an affair with his shoulder.

Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.

I read a book on anti-gravity...

It was impossible to put down.

What do you call a gay man that is not physically handicapped that performs blowjobs on gay men that are physically handicapped?

Caregiver.

Stephen Hawking is so lucky to go to heaven.

Oh never mind, here comes the stairway.

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What was Stephen Hawking's favorite toy?

Hot Wheels.

Yo mama is so fat, she has her own personal gravity.

When Stephen Hawking was feeling hungry, he used to call in to his local PC World for a megabyte and some microchips.

What is Stephen Hawking best at in basketball?

dribbling.

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Why did Stephen Hawking die? He didn't pay his electricity bills.

Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?

Because he can’t do stand-up.

Why is Stephen Hawking good at skateboarding? Because he's always on the ramps.

What does Stephen Hawking say after sex? That was wheely good.

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Head 'n Shoulders.

Why did Stephen Hawking die? He ran out of data.

The Arabian Sea is in which state?

Liquid.

Atoms never touch, so it means, we haven't touched each other or anything. So, sir, I did not drop-kick that child.

Guess Stephen's batteries died.