Physics jokes
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Not Stephen Hawking."
What goes up must come down, apart from Mr. Vyse.
Little Jimmy has 5 red apples. His dad's car will arrive in 20 minutes. Calculate the mass of the Sun.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
Because he was trying to catch a boomerang.
Why doesn't Newton cut trees in vanilla Minecraft? Because he wants Minecraft to be realistic!
Yo mama so fat she has her own gravity.
But she so ugly people are repelled by her.
Your mamma is so fat that she has a gravitational pull.
Fineman, Einstein, and Schrodinger walked into a bar.
Fineman says, "It appears we're inside a joke."
Einstein says, "But only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously."
To which Schrodinger says, "If someone's looking through the window, I'm leaving!"
Yo mama so fat that when she was on the moon, she had it sent right into the abyss of outer space.
If you drop an emo and a piece of paper out of a tree, you know what will hit the floor first? The paper, because the rope will stop the emo.
Why did the kid throw the clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly.
Yo mama is so fat that she is not wrong when she says the world revolves around her.
Q: How heavy is a photon?
A: It's light!
I'd tell a science joke, but I was like, "Nah, it would get no reaction."
What does a physicist call it when a suicidal person is high up? Potential energy.
Why is there only a glory hole in the handicapped stall in some public men's restrooms?
Because a gay man that is not physically handicapped can't receive a blow job from a gay man that is physically handicapped under the handicapped stall.
Why is Newton not allowed to visit local farms?
The owners know that forces come in pears.
You're so fat, you have your own gravitational pull.
If your house is cold, just stand in the corner. It's always 90 degrees there.
Why didn't the boy want to read "2000 Leagues Under the Sea"?
It was too much pressure.