I'm really worried for Stephen Hawking, 'cause how is he going to climb the stairway to Heaven?
What do priests and doctors have in common?
They both do physicals on kids.
Why does no one look up at Steven Hawking?
You have to look down to see him.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot wheels.
What was the one test that Steven Hawking couldn't pass?
reCAPTCHA
What do you call Stephen Hawking on a bungy jump?
Spasticelastic.
His name rhymes with walking and talking, but he canโt do either.
What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?
"Wait, I can explain everything!"
๐ค ๐ค ๐ค Why did a โฟ why did a physically handicapped ๐จ gay man that is a sex worker received $35.00 for a blowjob from gay men in the LGBT community? because he can suck the chrome of a tail pipe ๐ญ ๐ญ ๐ญ ๐ญ ๐ญ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐
What is the difference between paying $50.00 to receive an anonymous blow job from a physically challenged gay white male who is also a sex worker at a glory hole and paying $175.00 to receive an anonymous blow job from an able-bodied bisexual white female who is also a sex worker at a glory hole?
If you give $50.00 to receive an anonymous blow job from a physically challenged gay white male who is also a sex worker at a glory hole you are saving yourself $125.00. ๐ธ๐
What's black and sitting in a chair? Steven Hawking after a house fire.
Q. Why is Stephen Hawking so good at air guitar?
A. Because he has excellent string theory.
When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speakerโs circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his driver (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.
โI have an idea, boss,โ his driver said. โIโve heard you give this speech so many times. Iโll bet I could give it for you.โ Einstein laughed loudly and said, โWhy not? Letโs do it!โ
When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the driver's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The driver gave a beautiful rendition of Einsteinโs speech and even answered a few questions expertly.
Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobodyโs fool. Without missing a beat, the driver fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, โSir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my driver, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me.โ
Whatโs made of wood and is zig zag shaped?
Stephen Hawking's coffin.
Towing ropes can't be learned. They must be taut.
How to make time fly?
Answer: Throw a clock out of the window.
Even if there were no gravity, I would still fall for you...
Even if there was no gravity, I'd still fall for you.
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking in a house fire.
Who is the definition of a natural-born cocksucker?
A bisexual male, a homosexual male, a bisexual female, or a heterosexual female?
A physically disabled heterosexual male.