Physics jokes

Did you know there are black holes billions of years old?

What’s more amazing is the black holes Stephen Hawking studied. We're only 14 years old.

I'm really worried for Stephen Hawking, 'cause how is he going to climb the stairway to Heaven?

What do you call Stephen Hawking on a bungy jump?

Spasticelastic.

What do priests and doctors have in common?

They both do physicals on kids.

Why does no one look up at Steven Hawking?

You have to look down to see him.

What was the one test that Steven Hawking couldn't pass?

reCAPTCHA

What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?

Hot wheels.

What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?

"Wait, I can explain everything!"

🤔 🤔 🤔 Why did a ♿ why did a physically handicapped 👨 gay man that is a sex worker received $35.00 for a blowjob from gay men in the LGBT community? because he can suck the chrome of a tail pipe 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌

What is the difference between paying $50.00 to receive an anonymous blow job from a physically challenged gay white male who is also a sex worker at a glory hole and paying $175.00 to receive an anonymous blow job from an able-bodied bisexual white female who is also a sex worker at a glory hole?

If you give $50.00 to receive an anonymous blow job from a physically challenged gay white male who is also a sex worker at a glory hole you are saving yourself $125.00. 💸😁

What's black and sitting in a chair? Steven Hawking after a house fire.

Q. Why is Stephen Hawking so good at air guitar?

A. Because he has excellent string theory.

When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his driver (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.

“I have an idea, boss,” his driver said. “I’ve heard you give this speech so many times. I’ll bet I could give it for you.” Einstein laughed loudly and said, “Why not? Let’s do it!”

When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the driver's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The driver gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein’s speech and even answered a few questions expertly.

Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody’s fool. Without missing a beat, the driver fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, “Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my driver, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me.”

What’s made of wood and is zig zag shaped?

Stephen Hawking's coffin.

Towing ropes can't be learned. They must be taut.

How to make time fly?

Answer: Throw a clock out of the window.

Even if there were no gravity, I would still fall for you...

Even if there was no gravity, I'd still fall for you.

What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking in a house fire.

I would tell you a science joke, but I know I won't get a reaction.