Physics jokes

The Big Bang happened 16.8 billion years ago, and matter cannot be created or destroyed. Therefore, we are all technically 16.8 billion years old. So, to answer your question, officer, yes, she is of age.

I make science puns, but only periodically.

Two atoms are walking down the street, and they run into each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I’m positive!"

Did you hear that Stephen Hawking wrote a new book? It's called "Around The House in Eighty Days."

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal?

His shoulder.

I can't find out where Stephen Hawking is from, I just can't place his accent.

What do physically handicapped gay men do after they are done belching? They wipe their mouths on their light blue handkerchiefs after they are done sucking cocks.

What is the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie? He doesn't walkie or talkie.

What has 4 wheels, 2 legs, and loves his shoulder?

Stephen Hawking.

Looks like I lost an electron, I should keep a better ion them.

Have you walked into Stephen Hawking's house?

Oh, neither did he.

They say string theory is hanging on by a thread.

How did Stephen Hawking die?

There was a power outage.

How do you stay warm in a cold room?

You go to the corners. It's always 90 degrees.

What hit the floor first, the kid or the feather?

The feather.

The rope stopped the kid.

What do skeletons hate the most about wind?

Nothing, it goes right through them.

Why can't Stephen Hawking be a Rocket League car? Because he can't jump for an aerial.

Is it just me, or are magnets really attractive?

Why do you call a man that is physically handicapped and German?

A physically handicapped bisexual man that is promiscuous and German.

Michael Jackson and Kelly Clarkson both did shady stuff to children. Michael Jackson said that there is nothing wrong with sharing a bed with unrelated small children. Kelly Clarkson said that there is nothing wrong with physically beating a small child.

The thing is, though, only one of them made "Billie Jean" or "Beat It", and the other is just a typical karaoke country singer. So no surprise people gave Wacko Jacko a pass.