Physics jokes
Oh no, I feel bad for Stephen Hawking. He can’t get up the stairway to Heaven.
Why did a minister who is a Christian nationalist and a bisexual man give anonymous blowjobs to physically handicapped gay men under the handicapped stalls inside the men's restrooms at a rest area?
He wanted to eat footlong hotdogs for lunch at the rest area, but he wanted a sample first (taster).
Today I got a lecture from my mother, and congratulated her. Why?
Because she managed not to damage me in a physical fashion.
Yo mama is so fat that when she walks, she causes earthquakes. She is so big that she has her own zip code and gravity field. She is so heavy that she needs a crane to get out of bed. She is so obese that she can't fit in any clothes, except for a circus tent. She is so large that she blocks the sun and causes eclipses.
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.
You're probably getting tired of these gravity jokes... but I keep falling for them every time.
I was both shocked and amazed to hear Stephen Hawking kicked the bucket.
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Stephen Hawking isn't dead, he's just can't walk to the shop and get new batteries. 🙄
His name rhymes with walking and talking, but he can’t do either.
Stephen Hawking was one of the best scientists ever. Now he's walking up the steps of he... No, he's not walking up the steps of heaven.
Stephen Hawking didn’t die.
His charger broke.
Stephen Hawking walked into a bar...
A nucleus walked into a bar. He asked the bartender, “How much for a drink?” The bartender replied, “For you, NO CHARGE!”
Steven Hawking had dark humor.
Whenever he turned on his laugh effect, it diverted power from his screen brightness.
A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building.
He yells, "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"
Sodomising a physically challenged homophobic heterosexual white male is better than the smallest act of kindness.
A photon is checking into a hotel.
The bellhop asks him, "Do you have any luggage?"
The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
What’s Stephan Hawking's favorite dance move?
The robot.
Did you know there are black holes billions of years old?
What’s more amazing is the black holes Stephen Hawking studied. We're only 14 years old.