Physics jokes

The one thing I love about Steven is he stood up for all of his haters. Just kidding!

Why do basketball players hate gravity?

Because it's always bringing them down.

Why can’t you trust an atom?

Because they make up literally everything.

A man was at the temperature -273.15°C. He was OK.

Funny how "Hawking" rhymes with "talking" and "walking," and he can't do either.

And the first four letters of his Christian name spell "step," and he also can't do that.

My teacher gave me an A in Physics, then she tells me that it turns guys on.

Q: What did one atom say to the other?

A: I have my ion you.

I followed the sun for a day (stood there at noon). I found myself at the same spot.

What did the neutrino say to the planet?

"Just passing through."

Why did the electron leave the atom?

Because it wanted to be Argon.

A leaf and an emo fall from a tree. Which hits the ground first?

The leaf. The rope stopped the emo.

I tried to catch air once... I mist.

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Not Stephen Hawking."

What goes up must come down, apart from Mr. Vyse.

Why did the people think Stephen Hawking was disrespectful?

'Cause he didn't stand up for the national anthem.

Little Jimmy has 5 red apples. His dad's car will arrive in 20 minutes. Calculate the mass of the Sun.

Why is there only a glory hole in the handicapped stall in some public men's restrooms?

Because a gay man that is not physically handicapped can't receive a blow job from a gay man that is physically handicapped under the handicapped stall.

Why is Newton not allowed to visit local farms?

The owners know that forces come in pears.

Yo mama so fat that when she was on the moon, she had it sent right into the abyss of outer space.

Fineman, Einstein, and Schrodinger walked into a bar.

Fineman says, "It appears we're inside a joke."

Einstein says, "But only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously."

To which Schrodinger says, "If someone's looking through the window, I'm leaving!"