Physics

Physics jokes

Hater

The one thing I love about Steven is he stood up for all of his haters. Just kidding!

Gravity

Why do basketball players hate gravity?

Because it's always bringing them down.

Atom

Why can’t you trust an atom?

Because they make up literally everything.

Hawking

Funny how "Hawking" rhymes with "talking" and "walking," and he can't do either.

And the first four letters of his Christian name spell "step," and he also can't do that.

Teacher

My teacher gave me an A in Physics, then she tells me that it turns guys on.

Sun

I followed the sun for a day (stood there at noon). I found myself at the same spot.

Atom

Why did the electron leave the atom?

Because it wanted to be Argon.

Emo

A leaf and an emo fall from a tree. Which hits the ground first?

The leaf. The rope stopped the emo.

Stephen Hawking

Why did the people think Stephen Hawking was disrespectful?

'Cause he didn't stand up for the national anthem.

Sun

Little Jimmy has 5 red apples. His dad's car will arrive in 20 minutes. Calculate the mass of the Sun.

Glory Hole

Why is there only a glory hole in the handicapped stall in some public men's restrooms?

Because a gay man that is not physically handicapped can't receive a blow job from a gay man that is physically handicapped under the handicapped stall.

Pear

Why is Newton not allowed to visit local farms?

The owners know that forces come in pears.

Yo mama

Yo mama so fat that when she was on the moon, she had it sent right into the abyss of outer space.

Einstein

Fineman, Einstein, and Schrodinger walked into a bar.

Fineman says, "It appears we're inside a joke."

Einstein says, "But only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously."

To which Schrodinger says, "If someone's looking through the window, I'm leaving!"