Physics jokes
What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?
Answer: fire.
Yo mama so fat that when she was on the moon, she had it sent right into the abyss of outer space.
There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.
Even if there were no gravity, I would still fall for you...
What hits the ground first, an apple or an emo girl?
The rope would catch her.
When one of yall likes physical touch, but the other is scared of it
Why did the chicken cross the road? To help Stephen Hawking cross!
When Stephen Hawking found out about physics, he was speechless.
What comes up on small oceans? Microwaves.
What’s the difference between a doctor and a pedophile?
The doctor doesn’t enjoy giving physicals.
Stephen Hawking was one of the best scientists ever. Now he's walking up the steps of he... No, he's not walking up the steps of heaven.
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one liners?
He can't do stand-ups.
Your mum is so fat when she died the Earth was flat! 😂😂😂😂
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Oh, wait, he doesn’t walk.
A neutron walks into a bar and asks, "How much for a beer?"
The bartender replies, "For you? No charge!"
Who will hit the ground first, the girl or the apple?
I don't know, it depends if the girl is emo or not. If she is emo, the rope will catch her.
Why is there only a glory hole in the handicapped stall in some public men's restrooms?
Because a gay man that is not physically handicapped can't receive a blow job from a gay man that is physically handicapped under the handicapped stall.
Today I got a lecture from my mother, and congratulated her. Why?
Because she managed not to damage me in a physical fashion.
What season is it when you're on a trampoline?
Spring time!
I'm glad Stephen Hawking died because he was wheely wheely bad.
If a gay male is married to a well-endowed, physically challenged gay male that has been sleeping in bed for three hours nonstop, and he wants him to wake up so he can fix him his morning breakfast, how does he wake him up?
Wake up sleeping Jesus by giving him a blowjob.