Physics jokes
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
If a physically handicapped gay white male is sitting on the toilet in the handicapped stall, and if you are a gay white male that is well-endowed that is not physically handicapped, and if you want the physically handicapped gay white male who is sitting on the toilet in the handicapped stall to suck your dick, what do you do to convince him to suck your dick if you have a hard on and your horny as hell?
Put $25.00 under the handicapped stall before you put your dick under the handicapped stall.
Where was Stephen Hawking during the house fire?
The top of the stairs.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a refrigerator?
The fridge actually runs.
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and my Dad?
Isaac Newton didn’t beat me half to death with a pipe wrench.
The real reason Stephen Hawking died is because he tried to overclock his wheelchair.
Why did Steven Hawkins die?
Because he got a virus.
The reason Stephen Hawking died is because he drove too far from the wall. The cord unplugged.
Did you ever walk into Steve Hawking's house?
"No."
He hasn't too.
"Wheel" all miss him, right?
I’m reading a book about Anti-Gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
Stephen Hawking had pins and needles and got told to walk it off.
1 "Knock knock."
2 "Who's there?"
1 "Interrupting physicist."
2 "Interrupting who?"
1 "Muon!!!"
What comes up on small oceans? Microwaves.
Stephen Hawking: one hp (Fortnite)
I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I now live in constant fear.
Me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls off of a cliff, uses water bucket trick) dies.
You're so skinny, when you did your first jump on a pogo stick you would never come back.
The double slit experiment shows light particles are a wave that assemble in your presence. And you didn't even have to say a word!
What goes up and down and needs two people?
A seesaw.