I would tell you a science joke, but I know I won't get a reaction.
How to make time fly?
Answer: Throw a clock out of the window.
Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell? Because it's a stairway to heaven, not a ramp!
What’s the difference between a doctor and a pedophile?
The doctor doesn’t enjoy giving physicals.
Did you hear that Stephen Hawking wrote a new book? It's called "Around The House in Eighty Days."
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal?
His shoulder.
what did the atom say to the positive in math class. We could make a positive number
It's funny how Stephen Hawking sounds like Stephen walking or Stephen talking, but he can't do any of those things.
you.
Where was stephen hawkings during the house fire... the top of the stairs
Stephen Hawking walks into a b... nevermind.
What do skeletons hate the most about wind?
Nothing, it goes right through them.
Two atoms are walking down the street, and they run into each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I’m positive!"
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad role model? -- He doesn't stand for anything.
An atom loses an electron... It says, "Man, I really gotta keep an ion them."
What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? -- Steven Hawking after a house fire.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."
The other asks, "Are you sure?"
"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"
What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?
"Wait, I can explain everything!"
